Jokes Collection

Once there was a hare and a tortoise. Hare used to make fun of the tortoise about his speed. After getting fed up of all the remarks of hare, tortoise proposed a bet to race to finally conclude who is faster. Hare being confident in himself agreed to the bet. They both started the race from the agreed point. Hare ran as fast as he could to reach the end point soon but tortoise being as what God made him dragged with his speed. Hare after reaching the mid point of the race track stopped and decided to take rest because of his confidence of winning the race. Being tired of the running he soon fell asleep under a tree. Meanwhile, tortoise maintained his speed and kept on dragging himself to the end point. Soon enough, tortoise reached the end point but the hare kept sleeping. When he woke he mistakenly realised he was still winning the race and tortoise was way back. But when he reached the end point he knew he had lost the race because of his over confidence.

Hare was not satisfied with the result so he proposed the bet again for next day to which tortoise agreed. When the race started hare ran as faster as he could, and this time he didn't take rest and reached the end point. He won and gained his over confidence back. When tortoise reached the end point after few hours he saw that hare has already won.

This time tortoise was not satisfied with the result and proposed to race again next day but this time he added that the track would be chosen by him. Hare being over confident agreed to the new term and reached the next at the chosen track. But the tortoise proved to be clever because the race track he chose was to cross the river to opposite bank. Hare knew he couldn't swim so he stayed there and tortoise jumped into the river to reach the end point, but he drowned because tortoise can't fucking swim.

I was wondering if theres a next level in our worlds typology?
There are 4 typological levels right now.
There are bands, then tribes, then chiefdoms, and then states. And I was wondering "What comes next?"
The way I see it, in this futuristic next generation, absolutely everyone will always have constant instant access to information.
Like 24/7. Like there is literally a chip inside your brain that is always broadcasting information. (the internet)
These next level people are "enlightened," they are smarter, nicer, and genetically superior to everyone else.
They have better tastes in what groups makes the best music. Their political views are always the most well thought out and realistic.
I go on google and search for what the next generation's name is going to be.
Results: Pretentious Douche

Dont worry. They'll let there presence be known.

They've got no Seoul.

The pilot dies of a heart attack and the plane begins to go down.

Scout Leader "There aren't enough parachutes, we must give them to the children!"

Lawyer "Fuck the children!"

Priest "Do you think there's time?"

European.

They didn't get their whey.

Virgin Mobile.

If I were to create a language, I wouldn't include it.

A midget is a small problem. Black people are a huge problem.

He used smear tactics!

I wanted to literally see a dick in a box.

There was a good girl from a good family. Her name was Anna. She did the right things and made good grades. However. on her way to school one day, she was stopped by a man in an alleyway. The man was wearing excessive gold, sunglasses, and a bandanna. The man was so kind that he even gave Anna a matching piece of neck-wear for free. When she arrived at school, she wore a bandanna with pride. Or, at least until the principal stopped her. He appeared to have an issue with Anna's attire; around her neck, to be more specific. She disappointedly asked the principal, "Why can I not wear this to school?" In response, the principal said, "Because its *banned, anna*."

A Stick.

Urine trouble.

Spongebob Squarepants

and a table, and some chairs, and stumbles out.

Because he was a Putin

She started giving me red flags

None cause its already lit fam.