Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
Tammy and Joe worked together at an office. One day, Joe walks by Tammy and says, "Your hair smells nice." Tammy thinks this is a bit odd, but lets it go. The next day, again, Joe walks by and says, "Your hair smells nice." Tammy is getting a little weirded out by this. The next day, it happens again, and Tammy's had enough. She storms to HR and says, "Joe is sexually harassing me! He keeps telling me my hair smells nice!" HR responds, "That's not really harassment. Why does it make you uncomfortable?" Tammy replies, "He's a midget!"
Latest Jokes
A guy is walking through the countryside along a trail, when he sees a blonde woman standing near a fence.
He walks up to her and asks why shes just standing there.
The blonde woman gestures at the nearby field and says "All of this belongs to me".
She turns and points down the path the man was about to continue walking down and says "that path ALSO belongs to me, just to me, no-one else but me".
The man gives a disgusted sigh, thinking "Stuck up Rich bitch, just showing off how much she owns", and carries on walking down the trail.
Suddenly there's a huge BOOOOOM! and the man explodes, body parts flying everywhere, blood all over.
The blonde stops, thinks for a minute and says "What I meant to say was MINE!".
He walks up to her and asks why shes just standing there.
The blonde woman gestures at the nearby field and says "All of this belongs to me".
She turns and points down the path the man was about to continue walking down and says "that path ALSO belongs to me, just to me, no-one else but me".
The man gives a disgusted sigh, thinking "Stuck up Rich bitch, just showing off how much she owns", and carries on walking down the trail.
Suddenly there's a huge BOOOOOM! and the man explodes, body parts flying everywhere, blood all over.
The blonde stops, thinks for a minute and says "What I meant to say was MINE!".
A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says,
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably.
"No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment, then says,
"You'll have to talk to my Dad about that.
I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says,
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably.
"No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment, then says,
"You'll have to talk to my Dad about that.
I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."
... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''
I'll never forget those events. We all thought she died in the best way: peacefully, in her sleep.
But later, when we ordered an autopsy, we found out she actually died in the worst way: during an autopsy.
But later, when we ordered an autopsy, we found out she actually died in the worst way: during an autopsy.
...carrying with him two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion."
You'd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds... oh wait...
Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The Woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball..."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks."
Boy: "My Dad is outside..."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens agin that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, lets go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1000"
The Dad says, "Thats terrible to over charge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the little door..
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The Priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now!"
The Woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball..."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks."
Boy: "My Dad is outside..."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens agin that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, lets go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1000"
The Dad says, "Thats terrible to over charge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the little door..
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The Priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now!"
How to Use Our Jokes
Share with Friends
Brighten someone's day by sharing our jokes with friends and family via social media or email.
Public Speaking
Break the ice at presentations or gatherings with a well-timed joke from our collection.
Content Creation
Find inspiration for your blogs, social media posts, or newsletters with our diverse joke library.