Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
- a Truck filled with dead babies and a single live one
What's worse than that?
- When the baby eats it's way out.
What's worse than that?
- when the baby comes back for seconds
What's worse than that?
- When the baby eats it's way out.
What's worse than that?
- when the baby comes back for seconds
Latest Jokes
A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"
A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."
"Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago."
"Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say -- should we get naked?"
The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
So you don't confuse them with a feminist.
[Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/MeanJokes/comments/2hezp9/why_do_sumo_wrestlers_shave_their_legs/)
[Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/MeanJokes/comments/2hezp9/why_do_sumo_wrestlers_shave_their_legs/)
Sometimes when I am baking I mix I can't believe it's not butter and butter, so that way I have I kinda believe that some of this might be butter.
An optimist sees a glass half full.
A pessimist sees a glass half empty.
An engineer sees a glass that is twice as big as it needs to be.
A pessimist sees a glass half empty.
An engineer sees a glass that is twice as big as it needs to be.
He spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but the worker on the ground floor can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries to use sign language instead. He points to his eye meaning "I", then he points to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a saw motion. The worker on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock and starts masturbating. The worker on the 5th floor is furious so he runs down to the ground floor and says "what the fuck is wrong with you, I said I needed a handsaw!" The other worker says "I knew that, I was trying to tell you I'm coming."
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
there are 4 houses on a street a green house, a red house, a blue house and a white house. Mr. Green lives in the Green house, Mr.Red lives in the Red house and Mr.Blue lives in the blue house who lives in the white house? the black man
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