Jokes Collection

A carrot.

My wife won't let me have it until I lose weight.

The Cowboy rides their horse while the Redneck rides their cousin.

It's an insideher joke

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.

Ceasar sell ads

I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

To blame it on someone else shows management potential.

The Aylmao.

And the priest gives the man his last writes. The man says "I only have $30,000, and I think I can bring it with me to heaven. You should each take $10,000 of it to drop into my grave." And the men take the money. The doctor pronounces the man dead, and the lawyer writes a contract to make those words the last will and testament of the dieing man.

The funeral goes as expected, with each man dropping an envelope into the grave. Afterwards, the priest says "I have a confession to make. I did not drop the money into the man's grave, but instead I bout new pews for the church, the the envelope contained my apology. I think this is just because I think more faith would have saved the man, and he loved my church.
And the doctor said "I have the same confession to make. I used the money to buy new equipment for the hospital, a it could have saved the man. And the lawyer said "I am very ashamed of the both of you. I put a check for $10,000 in there myself!

Because I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.

I want my quarter back!

Prawn crackers.

As they were running they saw some sacks, and so they hid in them. When the police got to the first sack, which the brunette was in. He kicked it and the brunette said "woof!" And the police thought it was a dog so he went to the second sack, which the redhead was in. He kicked that one and the redhead said "meow!" Thinking it was a cat, the police went to the third sack, which the blonde was in. He kicked it and the blonde said "potatoooo" the blonde was arrested, and the brunette and redhead got away.

A stocker.

Because he didn't have any patients.

**ba dum tss**

Dr. Dre

Guess you could say I have mourning wood.

To keep their nuts dry.