Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
He was looking forward to seeing his family. However, the snows of December were coming in, and eventually it was a full blizzard. He decided to pull over and stay overnight in a little town. The next morning, he went to a diner to get breakfast. He saw eggs benidict on the menu. The waiter said it would be the best eggs benedict he ever had, so he ordered it. It came out on a hubcap. He thought it was odd, but nobody was saying anything. He took a bite and it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. When he was ready for the check, he told the waiter that it was phenominal. When he asked about the hubcap, the waiter said,
There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
Latest Jokes
But when it's all over they're going to have some great stadiums to behead women in...
The philosopher responded, "The idea of 'sameness' is a human construct, so 1+1=2 in the sense that the objects one is adding together are the same in his or her mind. As a simple example, one cannot add together an apple and a monkey, but one apple plus another certainly equals two apples because they are the same."
The mathematician responded, "Well, really for numbers to exist, one must actually assume that 1+1=2, then the entire number line can be constructed. It's an axiom."
The accountant gave a wry smile and said, "1+1 eh? Well, what do you want it to equal?"
The mathematician responded, "Well, really for numbers to exist, one must actually assume that 1+1=2, then the entire number line can be constructed. It's an axiom."
The accountant gave a wry smile and said, "1+1 eh? Well, what do you want it to equal?"
This is why I'm a terrible teammate, die a lot, and can't seem to kill anything.
It's all part of the plan.
It's all part of the plan.
"You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."
A Cute Sentence Written By A Child On His Maths Book :
"Dear Maths ! Please Grow Up and Start solving your problems yourself.
I have my own Problems!" :):):):-) ??
"Dear Maths ! Please Grow Up and Start solving your problems yourself.
I have my own Problems!" :):):):-) ??
Hearing these news, the Republicans breathed a sigh of relief - at least it's not gayson
You guys hear how they do Shark Fin Soup? They drag the sharks out, hack off the fins and toss em back. Well, back in the day there was a great dish called Turtle Nipple Stew. Same idea, they'd haul the turtles up and lop their nipples off, then toss em back.
Problem was, the dish was SO good, and we were SO efficient about it, that now, no turtle alive has any nipples at all.
Problem was, the dish was SO good, and we were SO efficient about it, that now, no turtle alive has any nipples at all.
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