Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
What kind of rare morons do you have to be to "impose deadly sanctions" over and over again against the world's largest supplier of fuel, food, metals and much more, and then complain that as a result it becomes cold, hungry and the economy is falling apart before our eyes!?
Latest Jokes
Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential election. The first night was packed full of activities and tours of the White House. Trump finally got to his room and was falling asleep in his new bed and saw the ghost of George Washington appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him,
"President Washington, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"
George thought for a moment and said to Trump,
"President Trump, he said, You must always tell the truth and never lie! Always be honest!"
Trump looked at George and said, "Nah, I can't do that."
The next night Donald Trump was falling asleep after another jam packed day and saw the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him,
"President Jefferson, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"
Jefferson thought for a moment and said to Trump,
"President Trump, he said, You must always put the people's needs before your own! Never be selfish!"
Trump looked at Jefferson and said, "Nah, I can't do that."
The third night as Donald Trump was falling asleep he saw the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him,
"President Lincoln, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"
Lincoln thought for a moment and said to Trump,
"Go to the theater."
"President Washington, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"
George thought for a moment and said to Trump,
"President Trump, he said, You must always tell the truth and never lie! Always be honest!"
Trump looked at George and said, "Nah, I can't do that."
The next night Donald Trump was falling asleep after another jam packed day and saw the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him,
"President Jefferson, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"
Jefferson thought for a moment and said to Trump,
"President Trump, he said, You must always put the people's needs before your own! Never be selfish!"
Trump looked at Jefferson and said, "Nah, I can't do that."
The third night as Donald Trump was falling asleep he saw the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him,
"President Lincoln, he called, how do I become a great President for the United States?"
Lincoln thought for a moment and said to Trump,
"Go to the theater."
What is the difference between a gun and a dildo? Nothing they both go bang but one shoots to kill and one shoots for some pleasure.
'Gay' is a tricky word. If someone asks 'are you gay?' If you respond no, it mean you are not happy with your life...if your response is yes, it means you are not happy with your wife!
... and gives him a bottle of beer.
The proctologist says "No, I ordered a BUTT light."
The proctologist says "No, I ordered a BUTT light."
Before long they're arguing...
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "For what?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "For what?!?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"
Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "For what?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "For what?!?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"
Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
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