Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?
Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...
Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...
The chief poet of the town dies, so they have to elect a new one. The voting whittles the candidates down to two. The town holds a feast to choose the winner. The mayor stands up and declares that the winner shall be decided by voting on the poem the candidates can come up with on the spot based on a subject of his choosing. The mayor announces the subject will be "Timbuktu."
The first candidate stands up, thinks for a moment, and recites:
It came across a stormy gale
Broad of beam and wide of sail
Its keel was white, its hull was blue
Its destination: Timbuktu
The crowd erupts, they're cheering for the first candidate. The mayor calms the crowd, chiding them to remember they still must hear the other candidate's poem. The second candidate stands up, considers the crowd with utter solemnity, and says:
A-hiking Tim and I went,
When we came upon three girls in a tent
Since they were three and we but two,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two
The first candidate stands up, thinks for a moment, and recites:
It came across a stormy gale
Broad of beam and wide of sail
Its keel was white, its hull was blue
Its destination: Timbuktu
The crowd erupts, they're cheering for the first candidate. The mayor calms the crowd, chiding them to remember they still must hear the other candidate's poem. The second candidate stands up, considers the crowd with utter solemnity, and says:
A-hiking Tim and I went,
When we came upon three girls in a tent
Since they were three and we but two,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two
I was walking through the park a few weeks ago with my daughter, when she pulled my hand and pointed over to what was 2 dogs having sex - she asked me "daddy what are they doing", to which I replied, "they are making a puppy".
Anyway's a few weeks later I was in the bedroom on top of my wife making passionate love to her, when my daughter burst into the room and said "daddy what are you doing", I said "we are making a baby", to which she started crying, and then whimpered "daddy please turn mummy over, I really want a puppy"...
Anyway's a few weeks later I was in the bedroom on top of my wife making passionate love to her, when my daughter burst into the room and said "daddy what are you doing", I said "we are making a baby", to which she started crying, and then whimpered "daddy please turn mummy over, I really want a puppy"...
The doctor said he has the body of a 21 year old, who smokes, drinks, and does hard drugs.
The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then pushes the white guy off the roof.
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