Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down,telling them to shut up,and learning how to cuss.What are wrong with Kids these days
Latest Jokes
A boy's grandfather dies and is cremated.
The grandson goes to his grandfather's funeral and pays respects to his cremated grandfather.
When the boy returns home, he is visited by his dead grandfather who says "you didn't visit often enough! I'm going to haunt you for that!"
"I was too busy and there were too many family vacations, I couldn't make time." Says the boy.
"Ok, well, I'll haunt you because you didn't eat enough of the cookies when you did visit. Now get me some cookies so I can suck the spirit from them!" Says the grandfather's spirit.
Slightly confused the boy responds "ok...would you like milk with that?"
The grandfather says "no, I'm cremated."
The grandson goes to his grandfather's funeral and pays respects to his cremated grandfather.
When the boy returns home, he is visited by his dead grandfather who says "you didn't visit often enough! I'm going to haunt you for that!"
"I was too busy and there were too many family vacations, I couldn't make time." Says the boy.
"Ok, well, I'll haunt you because you didn't eat enough of the cookies when you did visit. Now get me some cookies so I can suck the spirit from them!" Says the grandfather's spirit.
Slightly confused the boy responds "ok...would you like milk with that?"
The grandfather says "no, I'm cremated."
A Ukrainian farmer had a son who wanted to go to university
"Son, you not want to go university; stay here and work with me on farm"
"No father. I go to university to learn many things"
So the son goes.
Months later, the son comes home for break.
The father says, "So my son, you go to university. What you learn?"
And the son says "I learn 'Pi r squared'"
"You dumb son of a bitch! See what good university does for you! Pies are round! Cakes are square!"
"Son, you not want to go university; stay here and work with me on farm"
"No father. I go to university to learn many things"
So the son goes.
Months later, the son comes home for break.
The father says, "So my son, you go to university. What you learn?"
And the son says "I learn 'Pi r squared'"
"You dumb son of a bitch! See what good university does for you! Pies are round! Cakes are square!"
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