Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
These guys - Omar Khayyam, Sun Tzu, Bismarck, Churchill and other noteworthy wits - would simply be crazy if they knew how many wise and witty sayings they left behind.
Studies have shown that if a woman sleeps for a long time, then her blood pressure stabilizes, her mood improves, and the risk of diseases of the cardiovascular system in her husband decreases.
- What do you want on your birthday, dear?
- Amnesia about the years we lived together, dear!
- Amnesia about the years we lived together, dear!
If you pour Coca-Cola and Pepsi into one bottle, you can see how the bubbles fight.
Settle 100 women and 10 men on a deserted island. In 100 years there will be a society of women, men, boys and girls.
Settle 100 trans women and 10 men on a deserted island. After 100 years, you will find the skeletons of 110 men there.
This is science.
Gender does not change.
Settle 100 trans women and 10 men on a deserted island. After 100 years, you will find the skeletons of 110 men there.
This is science.
Gender does not change.
Why is phosphoric acid added to Coca-Cola? Does that make it taste better? - No, it's the only thing that eats away hamburgers!
Russian bookmakers have started accepting bets on what will end earlier in the US - banks or trains.
In the United States, it is customary to applaud the driver if the train has not derailed during the journey.
You go to Google from a new computer and the ads are so confused: discounts on perfume? Maybe a holiday in Holland? what kind of training do you need? don't be silent!
If we are taught that birds fly south in autumn, then somewhere children are taught that in spring and summer birds fly to Russia to rest.
- After all, democracy is when the opinion of the people is asked more often than once every five years in presidential elections.
- When asked - it's curiosity.
- Do they take it into account?
- It's a fraud. But when the opinion is implemented - this is democracy.
- When asked - it's curiosity.
- Do they take it into account?
- It's a fraud. But when the opinion is implemented - this is democracy.
I can't understand ... If in the USSR, according to the opinion from above, they only knew how to make galoshes, then why do the same people call the collapse of this country the greatest tragedy of the 20th century?
Listen to a woman and do the opposite.
Listen to the politician and don't do what he said at all.
At the very least, do as the woman says.
Listen to the politician and don't do what he said at all.
At the very least, do as the woman says.
The painting "Black Square" by Malevich became the property of the twentieth century!
In the 21st century, we expect - "The Blue Isosceles Triangle" ...
In the 21st century, we expect - "The Blue Isosceles Triangle" ...
I hate women who say, "To get into bed with a man, I have to have feelings for him." I always answer them like this: "In order to have feelings for a woman, I must go to bed with her."
"The queen gave birth in the night. Not a son, not a daughter. Not a mouse, not a frog, but an unknown little animal" (A.S. Pushkin).
And what a good start to the for a politically correct film from Netflix!
And what a good start to the for a politically correct film from Netflix!
In the days of my happy childhood, everything was simpler: if they are wearing pants and playing with cars, these are boys, if they are wearing skirts and playing with dolls, these are girls. And now you'll understand the hell - everyone is in overalls and playing a smartphone ...
I watched Elton John's story on TV. At first he was an alcoholic, then he quit and became a drug addict, and then he became a homosexual.
I decided not to stop drinking yet, so as not to risk it.
I decided not to stop drinking yet, so as not to risk it.
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