Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
What does it get.
The West got Ukraine rich in crests, and Putin got Africa rich in fossils?
The West got Ukraine rich in crests, and Putin got Africa rich in fossils?
- Mom, what is the difference between a fairy and a witch?
- Mood, daughter, only mood.
- Mood, daughter, only mood.
One man met a beautiful woman and immediately decided to marry her.
She:
But we don't know each other at all.
He:
- These are trifles. We will learn more over time.
The woman agreed and they married and went on their honeymoon. One morning, lying near the hotel pool, the man suddenly got up, climbed a ten-meter tower and dived into the water from there. The jump was filigree. Three turns, in a bent position, etc. He entered the water like an arrow.
She:
- That was incredible!
He:
- I was an Olympic champion in tower jumping. See, I told you that we would learn more about each other.
The woman then also got up, jumped into the water and swam 300 meters with incredible speed.
He:
- That was incredible! Are you an Olympic champion too?
She:
- No, I worked as a prostitute in Venice... on both sides of the canal...
She:
But we don't know each other at all.
He:
- These are trifles. We will learn more over time.
The woman agreed and they married and went on their honeymoon. One morning, lying near the hotel pool, the man suddenly got up, climbed a ten-meter tower and dived into the water from there. The jump was filigree. Three turns, in a bent position, etc. He entered the water like an arrow.
She:
- That was incredible!
He:
- I was an Olympic champion in tower jumping. See, I told you that we would learn more about each other.
The woman then also got up, jumped into the water and swam 300 meters with incredible speed.
He:
- That was incredible! Are you an Olympic champion too?
She:
- No, I worked as a prostitute in Venice... on both sides of the canal...
- What is your favorite drink in the morning?
- A difficult question... Do I have to go to work?!
- A difficult question... Do I have to go to work?!
A cool yacht in the sea. On it, all in white, the owner stands on the deck and catches fish with a golden rod. Servants bustle around - they serve champagne and caviar on golden trays; awesome girls sunbathe topless. But nothing pleases the owner - only one trifle is caught. Suddenly, a boat appears next to the yacht. There is a man drunk in a hollow in it, and the boat is full of fish - one larger than the other. A man is rowing on a fragile boat, yelling songs, everything is hurting him - life is good! The owner of the yacht looks sadly at the peasant's catch and says:
- That's how it always is! For some, everything, and for others, nothing.
- That's how it always is! For some, everything, and for others, nothing.
Ukrainian policy towards Russia:
"Neighbor, give me something to eat, otherwise I have no shit for your door ...".
"Neighbor, give me something to eat, otherwise I have no shit for your door ...".
A wife and husband guess a crossword puzzle:
- Wrong only once.
- Husband?
- No, it fits - a sapper.
- Wrong only once.
- Husband?
- No, it fits - a sapper.
Eastern wisdom:
Stop blaming yourself or others. Master the art of Feng Shui and start blaming the furniture.
Stop blaming yourself or others. Master the art of Feng Shui and start blaming the furniture.
Women, be optimistic!
No husband or cat?
Write in the status - "marital status: no one shits in slippers or in the soul."
No husband or cat?
Write in the status - "marital status: no one shits in slippers or in the soul."
New German joke.
Scholz asks God why is summer so rainy?...
God replies: "How much shit are you
they piled on it, it will only help to wash, wash, wash ... "
Scholz asks God why is summer so rainy?...
God replies: "How much shit are you
they piled on it, it will only help to wash, wash, wash ... "
- To study the nature of the female orgasm, it is necessary to create a research institute.
- What about the male?
- A small department with him will be enough.
- What about the male?
- A small department with him will be enough.
- Doctor, I have been living in the world for 42 years and do not know what an orgasm is.
- So you explanatory dictionary to give?
- So you explanatory dictionary to give?
A husband who returned from a business trip a day earlier is garbage compared to a wife who unexpectedly came to her husband on a business trip on the very first night ...
Hell has a separate cauldron for HR managers.
Every day they write petitions for transfer to Paradise.
But they are rejected due to lack of seniority and experience in Paradise.
Every day they write petitions for transfer to Paradise.
But they are rejected due to lack of seniority and experience in Paradise.
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