Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
The man walks up to the counter and asks the employee, "what is so special about that robot?"
"She is an all in one. If you squeeze her left breast, she will write down anything that you say and if you squeeze the right breast, she will type anything for you." the employee states.
"I'll take one!" the man says.
A few hours later back at the Radio Shack the employee gets a call from the customer who bought the all in one female office bot and simply asks, "Hey asshole, why the fuck didn't you tell me that the spot between her legs was a pencil sharpener?"
"She is an all in one. If you squeeze her left breast, she will write down anything that you say and if you squeeze the right breast, she will type anything for you." the employee states.
"I'll take one!" the man says.
A few hours later back at the Radio Shack the employee gets a call from the customer who bought the all in one female office bot and simply asks, "Hey asshole, why the fuck didn't you tell me that the spot between her legs was a pencil sharpener?"
Latest Jokes
"I'm not just a woman, in my soul I'm a 10-year-old girl," Algerian boxer Iman Khelif, who beat up an Italian in the ring, promised to also take part in children's competitions.
The Pension Fund demanded that 'wishes for long life' be recognized as extremism.
Dolphins are such intelligent creatures that almost as soon as they are caught and released into a pool, they train the people who service the pool to bring them fish three times a day.
- Dude, admit it, how did you manage to drag her into bed?!
- We looked at the stars together, I read her poetry, told her jokes...
- And that's it?!
- And, of course, brandy...
- We looked at the stars together, I read her poetry, told her jokes...
- And that's it?!
- And, of course, brandy...
Paradox
19th century - Democrats buy blacks.
20th century - Democrats hang blacks.
21st century - blacks vote for Democrats.
19th century - Democrats buy blacks.
20th century - Democrats hang blacks.
21st century - blacks vote for Democrats.
Do you remember?
The FUTURE will come - the 21st century! And THEN we will decide:
What is better: antigravity or teleportation, warp drive or wormhole?
The 20th century is over, it's the 21st. And now we decide:
What is the difference between jihad and hijab, niqab and kebab, shawarma and shavarma?
The FUTURE will come - the 21st century! And THEN we will decide:
What is better: antigravity or teleportation, warp drive or wormhole?
The 20th century is over, it's the 21st. And now we decide:
What is the difference between jihad and hijab, niqab and kebab, shawarma and shavarma?
Did you hear Justin Trudeau's wife is leaving him?
She finally caught him screwing Canadians!
She finally caught him screwing Canadians!
Congratulations to Justin Trudeau on the results of the Canadian Election
He always did want to be a minority.
He always did want to be a minority.
What did Justin Trudeau say to a black guy?
"You must tell me who does your makeup, its really well done!"
"You must tell me who does your makeup, its really well done!"
If you think your dog can't count, put three cookies in your pocket and then give your pet only two of them.
- Tell me, did you marry out of love or under duress?
- My wife says it's for love!
- My wife says it's for love!
A pious lady asks the priest:
- Tell me, are men and women together in heaven?
- In no case! Otherwise it would not be heaven, but hell!
- Tell me, are men and women together in heaven?
- In no case! Otherwise it would not be heaven, but hell!
If there is an "emergency exit", then there is an "emergency entrance" somewhere!!!
A husband and wife are lying in bed. He is dozing, she is reading a book and suddenly asks him:
- Are you sleeping?
- No, the husband answers.
- Do you want it?
- I want it, says the husband and begins to get excited...
- Well, sleep.
- Are you sleeping?
- No, the husband answers.
- Do you want it?
- I want it, says the husband and begins to get excited...
- Well, sleep.
Mike Pence decides to postpone his campaign. Perhaps he decided that it was easier for him to launch his own brand of military-strategy board games than to become president.
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