Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
A heavy-set woman goes into a drug store and asks for talcum powder. The bowlegged clerk says, "Walk this way," and the woman answers, "If I could walk that way I would not need talcum powder!"
Latest Jokes
From the page "Political tavern "Reading room"
An astronomy lesson in a British school more than thirty years ago. The teacher dictates:
- Excellent students, write down: The Sun is a ball of hot plasma heated to incandescence as a result of nuclear fusion reactions in its core, radiating energy mainly in the form of light, ultraviolet and infrared radiation.
Losers, write down: The sun is what shines for us and warms us.
Liz Truss, write it down: The sun is that yellow ball outside the window.
An astronomy lesson in a British school more than thirty years ago. The teacher dictates:
- Excellent students, write down: The Sun is a ball of hot plasma heated to incandescence as a result of nuclear fusion reactions in its core, radiating energy mainly in the form of light, ultraviolet and infrared radiation.
Losers, write down: The sun is what shines for us and warms us.
Liz Truss, write it down: The sun is that yellow ball outside the window.
In anticipation of sanctions against China, the Germans, taught by the bitter experience of anti-Russian sanctions, began to stockpile salt and matches.
Why don't Russian villages and cities where there is no gas freeze, while Europe will freeze without gas?
Pelosi: US respects your right to sovereignty!
(crowd applause)
Pelosi: Your island will decide its own fate!
(crowd chants "Freedom!" and "Death to the dictatorial regime!")
Pelosi: You have the right to self-determination!
(ovations and cheers from the crowd)
Assistant Pelosi, whispering: Ma'am, I'm sorry, it's still refueling in Hawaii...
(crowd applause)
Pelosi: Your island will decide its own fate!
(crowd chants "Freedom!" and "Death to the dictatorial regime!")
Pelosi: You have the right to self-determination!
(ovations and cheers from the crowd)
Assistant Pelosi, whispering: Ma'am, I'm sorry, it's still refueling in Hawaii...
Humanitarian aid from the USA is when the person who set fire to your house sells expired burn ointment to you in lend-lease.
And I would be glad to receive a personal package of sanctions from the EU, but savings do not allow.
In a telephone conversation with Macron, Putin assured the latter that if sanctions continue, there will be nothing for the West ... no titanium, no oil, no gas ...
Biden called Obama to wish him a speedy recovery after hearing that the US president had contracted covid.
London decided to abandon "stupid anti-Russian sanctions" and move on to clever ones.
Several centuries ago.
People whose body is covered with tattoos and who are considered savages are touched by glass beads.
Our days.
People who consider themselves civilized are touched by tattoos on their bodies.
People whose body is covered with tattoos and who are considered savages are touched by glass beads.
Our days.
People who consider themselves civilized are touched by tattoos on their bodies.
As soon as economic problems begin to emerge in the West, the realization that Russia is a prison of nations sharply sharpens.
Only Europe can supply arms en masse and hysterically demand peace at the same time.
A dispute between a pilot and a technician - who has a harder job. The technician asks the pilot:
- Have you seen bears on a motorcycle in the circus?
The pilot replies:
- Well, I saw it!
- Have you seen the bears repairing these motorcycles? ..
- Have you seen bears on a motorcycle in the circus?
The pilot replies:
- Well, I saw it!
- Have you seen the bears repairing these motorcycles? ..
When you remove your teeth from the dentist, be sure to take them with you.
And then dentists put these teeth under their pillows and the Tooth Fairy brings them money.
That's why dentists are so rich.
And then dentists put these teeth under their pillows and the Tooth Fairy brings them money.
That's why dentists are so rich.
Capitalism, as it is presented to us: the hungry should not be given a fish, but a fishing rod.
Capitalism as it really is: they don't give you a fishing rod, but sell it on credit, but you still won't be able to catch a fish with it, because. the pond and all the fish in it belong to the one to whom you now also owe for the fishing rod.
Capitalism as it really is: they don't give you a fishing rod, but sell it on credit, but you still won't be able to catch a fish with it, because. the pond and all the fish in it belong to the one to whom you now also owe for the fishing rod.
In response to the supply of weapons by the European Union to Ukraine with the wording "For the sake of peace", Russia plans to turn off gas to the European Union with the wording "For the sake of the environment."
What do vaginas and chainsaws have in common? Just stick something in the wrong place, and you're already in a complete ass.
I'll tell you what's next. By the cold weather, Russia will complete the operation in Ukraine. The Europeans will breathe a sigh of relief and lift the sanctions. Like, Russia got scared and ended the war. And they will wait for the start of gas supplies. And all the gas is already going to Asia.
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