Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
Three old men are sitting on a porch discussing their old person problems
Man 1: Every day at 7:00am i wake up and i piss like a racehorse
Man 2: If you think thats bad, every day at 8:00 i wake up and i have to shit like a pig!
Man 3: You guys don't even have it that bad! Everyday at 7:00 i have to piss like a horse and then at 8:00 i have to shit like a pig, the problem is i don't wake up 'til 9!
Man 1: Every day at 7:00am i wake up and i piss like a racehorse
Man 2: If you think thats bad, every day at 8:00 i wake up and i have to shit like a pig!
Man 3: You guys don't even have it that bad! Everyday at 7:00 i have to piss like a horse and then at 8:00 i have to shit like a pig, the problem is i don't wake up 'til 9!
Latest Jokes
Twitter scientists have proven that food posted in a feed loses up to 90% of vitamins and nutrients.
- What about marriage? Ukraine asked in a trembling voice, looking into his face.
- The money is on the nightstand, West replied dryly and left the room.
- The money is on the nightstand, West replied dryly and left the room.
A search of Donald Trump's home revealed:
- Budyonovka;
- PPSh;
- Parachute straps;
- Bear skin;
- Flag of the USSR;
- Push-button telephone with Russian layout;
- Portrait of Putin on a horse, painted in oil;
- Honey with pepper;
- Hat with ear flaps;
— The second component of the Sputnik V vaccine;
— Encyclopedia about gas pipeline turbines;
- Pushkin's volume in the original;
- TV signal of the channel "Soloviev Live";
- A banknote with a face value of 500 rubles;
— Discount card store "Pyaterochka";
- Login and password from the personal account of the portal "Gosuslugi".
- Budyonovka;
- PPSh;
- Parachute straps;
- Bear skin;
- Flag of the USSR;
- Push-button telephone with Russian layout;
- Portrait of Putin on a horse, painted in oil;
- Honey with pepper;
- Hat with ear flaps;
— The second component of the Sputnik V vaccine;
— Encyclopedia about gas pipeline turbines;
- Pushkin's volume in the original;
- TV signal of the channel "Soloviev Live";
- A banknote with a face value of 500 rubles;
— Discount card store "Pyaterochka";
- Login and password from the personal account of the portal "Gosuslugi".
January 2025.
Presidential winner, Trump addressed with the first message to the country from his prison cell. After that he signed his first executive order.
Donald Trump's amnesty decree.
Presidential winner, Trump addressed with the first message to the country from his prison cell. After that he signed his first executive order.
Donald Trump's amnesty decree.
Yesterday, August 9, 2022, US President Joe Biden was attacked by a jacket as he got off the plane. He tried to twist the president's arms. Thanks to the joint efforts of Joe and his wife, the jacket was overcome. But the glasses that popped out after that took the president by surprise.
The Prime Minister of the whole Eeeestoooonii said that travel to Europe should be a privilege for Russians. And washing euro-bodies and heating euro-dwellings will be a privilege for superhumans.
Chemistry teachers have the hardest time at school. They know how to blow up or poison any juvenile imbecile, but they hold on with all their might.
The Biden administration is storming the Guinness Book of Records for the second time in a row. First, Pelosi made the most expensive trip to 5 countries in Asia. Today, as many as 100 FBI agents searched the Trump residence.
After the resignation of the next government of the country, a member of the G-7 (Japan) from the beginning of the war in Ukraine, most people begin to wonder if the change of these governments was one of the successfully solved tasks of this special operation ...
In published photos from a search of Donald Trump, a Ukrainian refugee recognized her toilet bowl.
- UN! According to our data, the Ukrainians use prohibited anti-personnel mines, and you are silent! Are you sold or what?
- What is there to say? According to the UN, under the UN program, anti-personnel mines in Ukraine were destroyed back in 2019.
- What is there to say? According to the UN, under the UN program, anti-personnel mines in Ukraine were destroyed back in 2019.
Japanese weather forecast: Today is August 9th.
The minimum temperature on this day was observed in 1898 in Sapporo - 12 degrees Celsius. The maximum - in 1945 in Nagasaki - 3500 degrees Celsius.
The minimum temperature on this day was observed in 1898 in Sapporo - 12 degrees Celsius. The maximum - in 1945 in Nagasaki - 3500 degrees Celsius.
- Russia is a country supporting terrorists!
- Exactly! Look how much money was sent from Russia to the USA!
- Exactly! Look how much money was sent from Russia to the USA!
I am a tutor. My student read the assignment today and says: "I didn't understand anything, but I'll do it now."
You can't even imagine, kid, how such an approach will be useful to you in the future at work!
You can't even imagine, kid, how such an approach will be useful to you in the future at work!
On cold, hungry, dark winter evenings, the Germans will be warmed by the thought that somewhere at the bottom of the Baltic Sea, the Nord Stream 2 pipe lies alone, which they courageously sanctioned!
The battalion commander describes the combat situation to the soldiers:
- The enemy is behind us, to the left, to the right and in front ... What do you think about this?
- Now they can't hide from us!
- The enemy is behind us, to the left, to the right and in front ... What do you think about this?
- Now they can't hide from us!
Husband: You have such a beautiful voice
Wife: - Really?!
Husband: - Yes, so take care of him and shut your mouth!!!
Wife: - Really?!
Husband: - Yes, so take care of him and shut your mouth!!!
Sex with my wife is like a commuter train ride - no comfort, but strictly on schedule!
-20 on the street and -18 in Scholz's apartment are capable of launching Nord Stream 2.
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