Jokes Collection

One day, in one big, big country, problems arose.
On its southern borders, in a neighboring country, riots broke out and part of the northeastern territories declared independence from this southern country. They had close ties to their big neighbor to the north, one language, and one vision of the future for themselves and their children. But in the Southern Country they were denied equal rights and the opportunity to speak their native language and do business with their tribesmen in the north.

The southern country refused to recognize the independence of the northeast and launched a military operation, calling those living there rebels

Volunteers traveled from the north to the rebellious lands, food supplies were delivered and refugees were taken out. The leadership of the northern country refused to recognize the independence of the neighbor's territories and take them into their country, fearing hostilities and worsening relations with the whole world.

But eight years have passed and nothing has changed.
The Northeast Territories continued to consider themselves independent of their former master, the South Country. The northern country, seeing that the situation was not being resolved, decided to recognize the territories and accept them as part of its own.

Then the southern neighbor cut off water to the northeastern territories and blocked trade.

The society of the North Country split.
Someone shouted that it was time to punish these damned southerners, and someone that we did not need these northeastern territories at all and that we should not quarrel with the entire civilized world because of them. The parties of Democrats and Conservatives were divided, relatives cursed each other, and only the army, faithful to duty and order ...

Under the banner of the glorious General Taylor, she left Corpus Christi and crossed the Rio Grande! Simultaneously, the valiant US Navy set up a blockade of Mexican ports!

Thus began the Mexican-American War of 1846-1848 :)))

As a result of which Mexico lost 55% of its territory, and the territories of the modern states - California, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada and Utah - crossed into the United States.
The Northeast Rebel Territory was, you guessed it, the modern state of Texas.
What happened led to serious social reforms in Mexico. In particular, to the abolition of the persecution of Protestants in an officially Catholic country. In the United States, the history of the Mexican-American War of 1846-48 is a matter of pride, and no one disputes the sovereignty of the modern United States over Texas and the rest of the southern territories. Trade restrictions were removed from the United States by the whole world about three years after the end of the conflict.

If it seems to you that something has never happened in the world, it has already happened many times;)
And if you are suddenly ashamed of the actions of your country now, be ashamed of the actions of the United States then. I think it's even worth asking them to return six states back to Mexico. Perhaps they will listen to you, but this is not certain :)))

Europe is one step ahead again! Here, even the law that you can collect deadwood was adopted in Russia, and the Europeans will use it exactly before us - already this winter!

Estonian Prime Minister Kaja Kallas said tourists from Russia threaten the country's security.
Yes, Putin certainly has a secret plan to take over Estonia with Russian tourists.

We stopped doing good deeds for our women...
Is it worth it for you while she sleeps to stretch her clothes so that in the morning she thinks she has lost weight and she will be in a good mood all day?

"Hello, David, is it the year 5780 with you, among the Jews?"
- Yes.
- Tell me, please, how did 2022 end?

The YouTube platform, as a dictatorial regime, "deletes" the opposition.

U.S. feminists are suing transformer movies because they don't have female robots!
LGBT and the Negro League, thoughtful

- I love you more than anyone on this planet!
- What do you mean "on this planet"? So go to your alien whores!

Here in pseudo-scientific circles there are rumors that labor made a man out of a monkey. Like, she picked up a stick, etc. etc. The question arises - "Why did she take a stick in her hand?". Yes, she was too lazy to climb extra centimeters for a banana. It's easier with a stick. So it was not labor, but LAZINESS that made a man out of a monkey.

Husband and wife suffer from mild ailments. The symptoms are exactly the same, and to save time, the wife goes to the doctor. She comes back and happily says:
- Honey, we're pregnant.

- Darling! Today is our first sex anniversary.
- You are so considerate!
- I'm really looking forward to the second one!

Putin calls Scholz:
- Mr. Chancellor, we have decided to recognize the LPR, the DPR and the GDR.
Scholz in a panic:
- How - the GDR? No need for the GDR ... the GDR must be crossed out !!!
- Well, I thought that there would be no objections to the first two points ...

Laziness is vital for blondes.
It protects their last convolution from overload...

XIX century - A ghost haunts Europe, the ghost of communism.
XXI century - A ghost haunts Europe, a ghost of dementia.

Natasha Rostova is interested at the ball in the officers' meeting:
- I wonder what rejuvenates the female body from the inside?
- Silence, gentlemen hussars!

- Father, is there a place where all wishes come true?
- Yes, my son, in hell.

Americans - customers and inspirers of the shelling of the Zaporizhzhya nuclear power plant. What does "Where is the evidence?" mean? Since when do you not like "highly likely"?

I bought a course where English is taught in a dream. But the wife kicked the teacher out of our bed...

Western men who identify themselves as women have the right to participate in women's competitions. Apparently, soon the Americans, who even failed to climb the top bedside table, will be awarded "gold" on the grounds that they identify themselves as winners.

At the Army-2022 exhibition, contracts were signed for 500 billion rubles. Few people know, but the US Army spent so much last year every 5 calendar days.