Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
At the evening performance, the head usher at the Metropolitan Opera House was quite surprised. During an intermission, one middle aged lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The usher didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. At the end of the nights performance in an area close to the first complaint, a second little lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few guests had remained in the opera house, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on. He found one old man crawling along the opera house floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me, sir, can I help you?" A bald Donald Trump looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it. I thought I'd found it twice, but they were both parted in the middle...and mine's parted on the side!"
Latest Jokes
On the third day of the reign of Liz Truss, the queen died. Scary to think what will happen next...
Tea is an excellent female drink. Invite a man for tea - there will be sex. Invite a friend - booze.
- Dad, I have football practice after school, give me one ticket for the shower and one for heating the water!
- But when I was at school, son, in Germany we had unlimited water and heating at school ...
- Yes, I've heard this story a hundred times already: there was water without coupons, and heating, and electricity, and they drove cars, not scooters ...
- But when I was at school, son, in Germany we had unlimited water and heating at school ...
- Yes, I've heard this story a hundred times already: there was water without coupons, and heating, and electricity, and they drove cars, not scooters ...
From "we will completely destroy the Russian economy" to "we will definitely survive this winter," Olaf Scholz spent a little more than six months. But we are still waiting...
As the winter cold approaches, the content of totalitarian molecules in Russian gas will steadily decline.
- The worst enemies of Russia are artists.
- Galkin and Pugacheva?
- No, Reagan and Zelensky.
- Galkin and Pugacheva?
- No, Reagan and Zelensky.
Europe. A 12-year-old boy comes to the store, takes 2 cases of beer and goes to the checkout.
Cashier:
- You're kind of small. Show your passport!
The kid takes out of the pocket of those. refrigerator passport, gives it to the cashier, the cashier looks at "Date of manufacture 1980"
The cashier counts and releases the kid. The store manager, seeing all this, approaches the cashier and asks:
- What was it now, why did you sell him beer?
- He was born in 1980.
- Do you really think it was a refrigerator?
I don't understand this gender theory of yours..
Cashier:
- You're kind of small. Show your passport!
The kid takes out of the pocket of those. refrigerator passport, gives it to the cashier, the cashier looks at "Date of manufacture 1980"
The cashier counts and releases the kid. The store manager, seeing all this, approaches the cashier and asks:
- What was it now, why did you sell him beer?
- He was born in 1980.
- Do you really think it was a refrigerator?
I don't understand this gender theory of yours..
With the coming to power of Liz Truss, the inhabitants of the Rostov and Voronezh regions noticeably cheered up.
Euronews was told that Russian media and bloggers had started a campaign to discredit the Ukrainian counteroffensive. After all, at first everything went like clockwork, the roofs of Kherson high-rise buildings were already visible in the distance, but then the Russians intervened with their ridicule, and the counteroffensive failed.
And so every time. Either they knock Biden off the ladder with jokes, then they laugh at the sanctions and they lose their force ...
And so every time. Either they knock Biden off the ladder with jokes, then they laugh at the sanctions and they lose their force ...
A person learned many skills important for survival from wild animals: from wolves - to hunt and work in a team, from squirrels - to look for a home and prepare for winter, from bees - to work all day and live with their mother.
The fact of having a Schengen visa does not guarantee entry into the EU for Russians, Borrell said.
The fact that there is a gas pipeline does not guarantee the availability of gas in the EU, Gazprom answered.
The fact that there is a gas pipeline does not guarantee the availability of gas in the EU, Gazprom answered.
Olaf Scholz:
We will definitely survive this winter!
Germans:
- And what about us?
We will definitely survive this winter!
Germans:
- And what about us?
"Cold War 2.0" - gas and electricity in Europe will be turned off in winter to the evil of Russia ...
After the first winter without gas, the European states themselves will introduce a second state language on their territory - Russian.
After the second winter, they will demand to include them in the Russian Federation.
After the second winter, they will demand to include them in the Russian Federation.
In connection with the election of Liz Truss, a deluxe edition of the England Globe was sent to her.
- What is the first thing the Chinese will do when they encounter alien life?
- Devoured
- Devoured
- But I wonder how many countries are in Europe now?
- Well, recently, depending on different political positions, about 57-60 ...
- No, without any reservations ...
- Then three...
- ?
- Russia, anti-Russia and Turkey
- Well, recently, depending on different political positions, about 57-60 ...
- No, without any reservations ...
- Then three...
- ?
- Russia, anti-Russia and Turkey
That's because the scientific and technological level of the US space industry has fallen! The launch of Artemis was postponed for the third time, they couldn't understand what was the matter ... And then, in the 60s, only the first launch of Saturn turned out to be unsuccessful! And then Wernher von Braun was fired, and Stanley Kubrick was hired - and the Apollo program went strictly on schedule, without delays and failures ...
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