Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
Children play in the yard.
Dedra:
- My mom and dad said they found me in the cabbage.
John:
- And my stork brought me.
Mike:
- You are so outdated, my parents downloaded me from Twitter!
Dedra:
- My mom and dad said they found me in the cabbage.
John:
- And my stork brought me.
Mike:
- You are so outdated, my parents downloaded me from Twitter!
Yes, I remember when there was already freedom of thought, but there is no freedom of speech yet. Now the opposite is true: there is still freedom of thought, but there is no freedom of speech anymore.
The programmer is sitting in the dining room, having lunch, eating soup. In glasses, so thoughtful, he thinks the program. There were no people, everyone had already eaten and left. The waitress approaches him and flirts:
- If you want to have a good time, then my name is Masha!
The programmer slowly returns to the ground and looks at the waitress with a detached look and on autopilot asks:
- And if I don't, what's your name?
- And if you don't want to, then I'm not called in any way!
- Exactly! You need to reset the variable!
- If you want to have a good time, then my name is Masha!
The programmer slowly returns to the ground and looks at the waitress with a detached look and on autopilot asks:
- And if I don't, what's your name?
- And if you don't want to, then I'm not called in any way!
- Exactly! You need to reset the variable!
- I explained to my wife - if you eat at night, you will gain weight, and if you have sex, you will lose weight.
- Well, how she is doing now?
- Getting fat...
- Well, how she is doing now?
- Getting fat...
- I remind you that you must tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ... So what will you tell the court?
- Your Honor, how can you say anything on the merits under such strong restrictions?
- Your Honor, how can you say anything on the merits under such strong restrictions?
- Are you interested in a cybersecurity specialist by any chance?
- Yes. Submit your resume by email.
- Put on your computer desktop. The file is called "MUST TAKE!". Just in case, I duplicated it in your folder "Selected shots" at home.
- One second! Home computer offline! It is not connected to the grid and the Internet in any way!
- Sorry ... I deleted it from home computer...
- Yes. Submit your resume by email.
- Put on your computer desktop. The file is called "MUST TAKE!". Just in case, I duplicated it in your folder "Selected shots" at home.
- One second! Home computer offline! It is not connected to the grid and the Internet in any way!
- Sorry ... I deleted it from home computer...
- I watched a bodybuilding competition yesterday.
- Among men or women?
- Have no idea!
- Among men or women?
- Have no idea!
I think I could work for the UN...
I'm constantly resentful and preoccupied, and I don't do shit
I'm constantly resentful and preoccupied, and I don't do shit
Religion is a smart business idea. Selling an invisible product, and if it doesn't work, you can always blame the customer.
Laying a cable on a football field, the workers found two false teeth and a referee's whistle in the ground.
- Dig more carefully, guys, the foreman warned them, "maybe we will dig up a whole skeleton of a judge."
- Well, it's unlikely. The rest of its parts most likely fled.
- Dig more carefully, guys, the foreman warned them, "maybe we will dig up a whole skeleton of a judge."
- Well, it's unlikely. The rest of its parts most likely fled.
- You have already lived most of your life, it's time to think about the main thing.
- Are you out of your mind? I'm only twenty!
- Do not argue, I'm your doctor, I know better.
- Are you out of your mind? I'm only twenty!
- Do not argue, I'm your doctor, I know better.
Dear Facebook, stop suggesting me people I might know. I know them. I do not like them.
It is necessary to establish a club of countries that connect two or more oceans! Then a club of countries with the highest mountain peaks. And also such countries where the deepest gaps in the memory of the population ...
Alas, the button on the jacket fastens every year with more and more resistance ...
The longest excursion was conducted by Moses for the Jews in the desert, which lasted for 40 years
- Uph...! The surgeon breathed a sigh of relief as he left the operating room. "Just think, another day or two, and my patient would have recovered without me!"
- Carlos! What stage of renovation are you in right now?
- At the stage "money for repairs ran out."
- At the stage "money for repairs ran out."
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