Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
In the real world, conscience is a hopelessly illiquid asset due to the fact that offers to sell it significantly exceed demand.
- Why are there no strong Olympians in Mexico?
- Because everyone who can run, jump or swim fast has already moved to the USA.
- Because everyone who can run, jump or swim fast has already moved to the USA.
At the G20 summit, Chinese leader Xi Jinping asked Biden to pronounce his first and last name correctly. The meeting lasted over four hours.
The Milky Way covers 25% of the entire sky in the Northern Hemisphere. Scientists took a device that sees a lighted match on the Moon, and found beyond the Milky Way, at a distance of 3 billion light years, another 62 unknown Galaxies. A question of questions: if we are still compiling a map of the World Ocean, why do we need new Galaxies?
As my psychiatrist says, being alone is fine.
It's bad when there are two of you.
It's bad when there are two of you.
Thoughts of a billionaire according to marketers and advertisers:
"Well, I've earned a billion, and I'll earn a second one soon... Damn, how boring! Longing... I'll die, and no one will know how I earned them! This great knowledge will go with me to the grave! I need to urgently tell everyone, everyone about it! I have to kill myself, but so that everyone earns a billion!"
"Well, I've earned a billion, and I'll earn a second one soon... Damn, how boring! Longing... I'll die, and no one will know how I earned them! This great knowledge will go with me to the grave! I need to urgently tell everyone, everyone about it! I have to kill myself, but so that everyone earns a billion!"
- Tell me, is the pool working?
- Yeap
- But there is no water there!
- So you didn't ask about water.
- Yeap
- But there is no water there!
- So you didn't ask about water.
- Give an example of a language that no one speaks, but which is the foundation of other languages?
- HTML!
- HTML!
- Doctor, I haven't been able to cum in the last few years. I have sex with my wife for hours until I lose my strength, but there is no orgasm. Help!
- Let's help, it's easy .. Why are you so scared? Looking around?..
- The wife said: "If you go to the doctor - I'll kill you!", and she can ...
- Let's help, it's easy .. Why are you so scared? Looking around?..
- The wife said: "If you go to the doctor - I'll kill you!", and she can ...
News: The cryptocurrency exchange has filed for bankruptcy.
Cryptocurrency traders: instead of a personal plane, they again ask their mother to buy a Kinder.
Cryptocurrency traders: instead of a personal plane, they again ask their mother to buy a Kinder.
- Do you like cold rice porridge with cucumber?
- Not.
- What about raw fish?
- Not.
- Maybe with mustard?
- Not!!!
- Maybe then serve sushi?
- Come on, give me sushi.
- Not.
- What about raw fish?
- Not.
- Maybe with mustard?
- Not!!!
- Maybe then serve sushi?
- Come on, give me sushi.
New Year's phrase for dating:
- Can I take a picture of you so that I can show Santa Claus what gift I want for the New Year?
- Can I take a picture of you so that I can show Santa Claus what gift I want for the New Year?
"Slaves have nothing to lose but their chains" - everyone knows that. But now I want to turn to educated people and ask: did they buy these chains with their own money!?
- You wrote in your resume that you are a Zen Buddhist. What would you like to do in our company?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
- How is a friend different from an enemy?
- The enemy tells you the truth in the eye, and the friend must first get drunk.
- The enemy tells you the truth in the eye, and the friend must first get drunk.
Thor Heyerdahl during one of his travels made friends with the leader of the cannibal tribe and told him something about the history of European civilization. The leader was particularly struck by the story of two world wars.
"So, you killed all this abyss of people not to eat, but just to bury in the ground?" he asked several times. "Well, you are really savages!"
"So, you killed all this abyss of people not to eat, but just to bury in the ground?" he asked several times. "Well, you are really savages!"
The capitalization of Meta is $600 billion.
The world consumption of bread for the year is 800 million tons, if at $400 per ton it is equal to $320 billion.
But, if the annual supply of bread in the world disappears, Izya will ask - Mom, what are we going to eat?
And mom will say - Eat your yesterday's post on Facebook.
What if bread doesn't disappear, but Facebook disappears?!...
If Facebook disappears, Izya will eat a bun and run to play football.
The world consumption of bread for the year is 800 million tons, if at $400 per ton it is equal to $320 billion.
But, if the annual supply of bread in the world disappears, Izya will ask - Mom, what are we going to eat?
And mom will say - Eat your yesterday's post on Facebook.
What if bread doesn't disappear, but Facebook disappears?!...
If Facebook disappears, Izya will eat a bun and run to play football.
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