Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
The accountant died. The Apostle Peter looked into the book of his life, scratched his halo and said:
- You have sins and righteous deeds equally. Therefore, I will give you the opportunity to make a choice - heaven or hell.
And took him on a tour. They go to hell, and there a bunch of clerks rush about, fuss, carry documents, printers chew paper, computers freeze, servers go dumb, liters of coffee, cigarette smoke hangs in a cloud, bosses yell, phones ring - they close for a month.
The accountant recoiled.
- Oh, I have had enough of this in my life! I want to see heaven.
They come to heaven, open the door and... The same picture - clerks, running around, documents, computers, calls, screams.
Confused Accountant:
- It's the same here!
- No, they have a balance here!
- You have sins and righteous deeds equally. Therefore, I will give you the opportunity to make a choice - heaven or hell.
And took him on a tour. They go to hell, and there a bunch of clerks rush about, fuss, carry documents, printers chew paper, computers freeze, servers go dumb, liters of coffee, cigarette smoke hangs in a cloud, bosses yell, phones ring - they close for a month.
The accountant recoiled.
- Oh, I have had enough of this in my life! I want to see heaven.
They come to heaven, open the door and... The same picture - clerks, running around, documents, computers, calls, screams.
Confused Accountant:
- It's the same here!
- No, they have a balance here!
Causes of headache in women:
a) Pressure
b) Stress
c) flower pollen
d) Bad smells
e) Mom
f) Children
g) Chief
h) Colleagues
i) Sex
j) Money
k) Absence of children
m) Lack of sex
m) Lack of money.
o) Lots of sex
p) no one to talk to
p) Too much talk
c) Nothing to buy
r) Discounts
s) Weather
f) No discounts
x) Bad sleep
c) Insomnia
Causes of headache in men:
a) woman
b) Hit with an axe.
a) Pressure
b) Stress
c) flower pollen
d) Bad smells
e) Mom
f) Children
g) Chief
h) Colleagues
i) Sex
j) Money
k) Absence of children
m) Lack of sex
m) Lack of money.
o) Lots of sex
p) no one to talk to
p) Too much talk
c) Nothing to buy
r) Discounts
s) Weather
f) No discounts
x) Bad sleep
c) Insomnia
Causes of headache in men:
a) woman
b) Hit with an axe.
Does anyone know if Santa's reindeer are already fucking each other? Are they already gay and transvestites? Are they already black? Or are they already doe-lesbians? It's not me, it's a friend who's wondering...
A new patented, and at the same time quite expensive weight loss remedy turned out to be an ordinary laxative.
An example of gender inequality.
They laugh when they read about how a wife beats her husband. And they are outraged when they find out that the husband treats his wife badly.
They laugh when they read about how a wife beats her husband. And they are outraged when they find out that the husband treats his wife badly.
- As a child, my parents dreamed that I would become a pianist, and I would become a football player.
- So how is it?
- Their dream came true, but mine did not.
- So how is it?
- Their dream came true, but mine did not.
Girls, if your man walks joyfully and excited for more than a day, then it's stupid to waste time on a rhetorical question, what made him so happy. You must immediately look for the bitch that turned him on!
I was interested in one: why if you believe in God, then this is serious, but if you are in Santa Clauses, they twist finger at temple?
In the English city of Waterlooville, 25-year-old Caprice Buddle robbed, beat and raped a man in love with him.
Usually women stretch it for life time.
Usually women stretch it for life time.
If you make a movie about my life, it will turn out to be a thriller in which a serial killer named Work brutally kills summer, free time and plans for my personal life.
There are two types of touch typing: without looking at the keyboard and without looking at the monitor.
- Do Russians sing Happy birthday to you in their own language?
- No, we don't have that.
- And what do you sing?
- Let pedestrians run clumsily across the puddles.
- Sorry?
- Let pedestrians run clumsily across the puddles.
- And then how?
- And let water flow like a river down the pavement.
- Nah. Is that what you sing for your birthday?
- Exactly.
- No, we don't have that.
- And what do you sing?
- Let pedestrians run clumsily across the puddles.
- Sorry?
- Let pedestrians run clumsily across the puddles.
- And then how?
- And let water flow like a river down the pavement.
- Nah. Is that what you sing for your birthday?
- Exactly.
- Rebbe, tell me, is it possible for a true Jew to fly on airplanes on Saturdays?
- Yes, but only if he is wearing a seatbelt.
- Why?
- In this case, the plane will not be considered a transport, but will be considered a type of clothing.
- Yes, but only if he is wearing a seatbelt.
- Why?
- In this case, the plane will not be considered a transport, but will be considered a type of clothing.
My girlfriend dressed up as a cop and told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of having too good sex... Two minutes later, the case was closed due to lack of evidence.
Dear fellow citizens! Don't read the statistics! I read that cucumber is 90% water. And a person is only 80. How to live on, I can't imagine when you were popularly explained that you are a slightly dehydrated cucumber.
On the morning of Mother's Day, a six-year-old son asks:
- Dad, what kind of wife do I need - as pretty as mom?
- Yes, the same cute one will do.
- Well, it suits you, but I need it prettier.
- Dad, what kind of wife do I need - as pretty as mom?
- Yes, the same cute one will do.
- Well, it suits you, but I need it prettier.
Beard statistics.
The beard shock-absorbed and saved from injuries - 9 cases.
The beard burned down - 72.
Grabbed by the beard and smashed the nose - 907.
The beard shock-absorbed and saved from injuries - 9 cases.
The beard burned down - 72.
Grabbed by the beard and smashed the nose - 907.
-Our life is like a computer game. With each new year, the last thirty years, as in a game: the task of surviving becomes more difficult. Only, unlike in the game, our resources are not growing, but shrinking...
When a person has had enough sleep, he gets up like a newborn, but the alarm clock is a caesarean section, then you go all day premature ...
How to Use Our Jokes
Share with Friends
Brighten someone's day by sharing our jokes with friends and family via social media or email.
Public Speaking
Break the ice at presentations or gatherings with a well-timed joke from our collection.
Content Creation
Find inspiration for your blogs, social media posts, or newsletters with our diverse joke library.