Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
- How old your kid?
- He will go to school this year.
- Yeah, years go by.
- Elementary school teacher.
- He will go to school this year.
- Yeah, years go by.
- Elementary school teacher.
After death, the righteous go to heaven, the sinners go to hell, and the complete scoundrels go to the American Witness Protection Program.
The happiest man was Robinson Crusoe.
He had his own island, a source of the purest fresh water, a forest with edible vegetation, livestock, a personal sea ... He ate the most environmentally friendly products on the planet. In fact, no one encroached on his property. He didn't pay taxes to anyone. Nobody strained his brain. No money problems. The laws by which he lived, created himself. And all this happiness for almost 30 years!
This is how Daniel Defoe portrayed the dream of a normal person!
He had his own island, a source of the purest fresh water, a forest with edible vegetation, livestock, a personal sea ... He ate the most environmentally friendly products on the planet. In fact, no one encroached on his property. He didn't pay taxes to anyone. Nobody strained his brain. No money problems. The laws by which he lived, created himself. And all this happiness for almost 30 years!
This is how Daniel Defoe portrayed the dream of a normal person!
- Can you imagine, I dropped 500 kilocalories in a couple of seconds!
- And how did you manage to do it?
- I dropped my hamburger.
- And how did you manage to do it?
- I dropped my hamburger.
Raw eggs have a beneficial effect on the vocal cords, and vodka has a beneficial effect on the desire to sing. If you eat vodka with raw eggs, the singing will be harmonious and fervent.
In a Jewish family, a child up to nine years old peed in bed. This continued until the father made the toilet free.
- Man, as a gentleman you are obliged to marry me.
- So I haven't had anything with you yet.
- Oh yeah - it's not a problem at all.
- So I haven't had anything with you yet.
- Oh yeah - it's not a problem at all.
Why don't you tell me that I cut my hair?
Why? I think you already know about it.
Why? I think you already know about it.
- What is the difference between politicians and programmers?
- Programmers get paid for programs that actually work.
- Programmers get paid for programs that actually work.
We live in strange times:
To tell the truth is stupidity, to remain silent is cowardice.
To tell the truth is stupidity, to remain silent is cowardice.
Is it possible to go to heaven for having endured a mother-in-law for many years?
- How not to quarrel with guests on New Year's Eve?
- Well, first of all, do not invite guests for the New Year.
- Well, first of all, do not invite guests for the New Year.
I am not a homophobe or a racist, but thanks to the efforts of Netflix, I am gradually becoming one.
- Do you want coffee in bed?
- Of course.
- Then I'll have coffee, and you'll have a bed.
- Of course.
- Then I'll have coffee, and you'll have a bed.
There are about 4,000 nerve endings in the head of the penis. There are more than 8000 in the clitoris. If you decide to get on each other's nerves, do it right.
This year at 23:00 on December 31, when saying goodbye to the old year, so as not to swear, I will simply keep silent.
In youth, there are desires but no opportunities. In old age, there are opportunities but no desire. The only outlet is the middle age, when some opportunities have already appeared and some desires still remain ...
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