Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
I finally have a decent job with a decent salary. And I can safely afford a healthy TV or a PlayStation that will gather dust in the corner, because I work twenty hours a day.
One of the 100 largest gold deposits in the world has been discovered in Serbia. Democracy is already rushing to the aid of the poor Serbian people!
Wife to husband: "Have you eaten?"
-Yes, everything is very tasty, especially the bread from the store.
-Yes, everything is very tasty, especially the bread from the store.
Today I saw an advertisement: "We will fix what your husband fixed." Laughed, but wrote down the phone.
The main miracle of Jesus was to find people named Peter, Paul, John, Matthew, etc. somewhere in the Middle East.
My husband and I have a lot in common. He is proud and I am proud. He is bad and I am bad. He loves me and I love me!
Who pays on a date:
If a gentleman, then the man pays for himself and for the woman.
If modern, they share the score.
If there is an IT specialist, then the IT specialist pays.
If both IT specialists, then two adult men will somehow agree among themselves.
If a gentleman, then the man pays for himself and for the woman.
If modern, they share the score.
If there is an IT specialist, then the IT specialist pays.
If both IT specialists, then two adult men will somehow agree among themselves.
- I had a romantic dinner with my girlfriend last night. Or, as some call it, the 69 position...
- Would you like to be where it is cold, empty and constantly raging winds?
- Of course not.
- So I can't understand why all believers are so eager to get to heaven?
- Of course not.
- So I can't understand why all believers are so eager to get to heaven?
Greta Thunberg advised the Chinese to give up chopsticks so as not to destroy trees. In response, they advised her to return to school to study how fast bamboo grows. Also give up feminine hygiene products and toilet paper. And one Chinese said that the most environmentally friendly way to travel is on foot. When Greta comes to China on foot, he will forever give up chopsticks.
Although I am a drinker, I will say for sure that the earth is round. Why?
She constantly slips away from under her feet.
She constantly slips away from under her feet.
Psychiatrist: - And you appreciate this paradox! In the 90s, in a psychiatric hospital, I explained to cons who entered the examination that it was not necessary to imitate the signs of schizophrenia so clumsily in front of an experienced doctor. And now, in the 2020s, people who are clearly suffering from schizophrenia are explaining how to live to me from the TV screen!
The wife quarreled with her husband and out of anger told him everything she thought about him.
The man felt so sorry for his wife when he found out with whom she lives!
The man felt so sorry for his wife when he found out with whom she lives!
- Europeans do not understand why we do not allow them to fly over Siberia for free ....
- Lords! You don't let us fly over you for a fee...
- Lords! You don't let us fly over you for a fee...
Two planets are talking:
- How are you?
- OK, you?
- It sucks!
- What is it?
- Yes, some kind of itching, the atmosphere is full of smoke, the forests are peeling, the deserts are itching ...
- It looks like you got people wound up.
She is horrified:
- People?? HOW PEOPLE???? Yes, from where?
Another one is soothing:
- Don't worry so much, just take a couple of medium meteorites!
- How are you?
- OK, you?
- It sucks!
- What is it?
- Yes, some kind of itching, the atmosphere is full of smoke, the forests are peeling, the deserts are itching ...
- It looks like you got people wound up.
She is horrified:
- People?? HOW PEOPLE???? Yes, from where?
Another one is soothing:
- Don't worry so much, just take a couple of medium meteorites!
When I was little, I looked at adults and thought that the world had some kind of its own, special, understandable only to its own. But only when I grew up, I realized that their world is the same as ours - for children.
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