Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
IT people are hiding! They hide knowledge in manuals, helps and docks! For fools and ignoramuses, this is an insurmountable barrier of perception!
The circus tigress blames her husband:
- You don't want to work at all! You just have to sleep and the trainer is fatter.
- You don't want to work at all! You just have to sleep and the trainer is fatter.
- If luck turns its back on you, slap her on the ass?!
- I tried, she just farted back at me.
- I tried, she just farted back at me.
The phone rings in the bar. Before picking up the phone, the bartender looks around the hall and asks:
- Well, which of you are not with us today?
- Well, which of you are not with us today?
- It was the best sex in my life!
- You haven't tried it with me when I'm not sleeping.
- You haven't tried it with me when I'm not sleeping.
- Ronaldo rented 17 rooms in a 99-story skyscraper in Riyadh. The cost of living per month is more than 250 thousand pounds.
- Is it with the utilities?
- Is it with the utilities?
- And when did blowjob appear in European culture?
- Then same, when and belt chastity.
- Then same, when and belt chastity.
- Son, do you remember how many bones I gave our dog the day before yesterday?
- Two.
- Correctly! And what did he do?
- Joyfully jumped, whined, licked your hands.
- Right. And yesterday I gave him one bone. And what did he do?
- He looked at you in bewilderment.
- Yes! And today I told him "There are no more bones, here's bread for you!". How did he react?
- He sniffed, turned his back and went into the booth.
- So, son, and tomorrow he will receive three bones, he will feel like the happiest dog in the world, and I will be his best friend. This is, son, the basic principle of manipulation in politics.
- Two.
- Correctly! And what did he do?
- Joyfully jumped, whined, licked your hands.
- Right. And yesterday I gave him one bone. And what did he do?
- He looked at you in bewilderment.
- Yes! And today I told him "There are no more bones, here's bread for you!". How did he react?
- He sniffed, turned his back and went into the booth.
- So, son, and tomorrow he will receive three bones, he will feel like the happiest dog in the world, and I will be his best friend. This is, son, the basic principle of manipulation in politics.
The most spectacular sport is women's rugby. The girls are running around the field, and pulling panties down -really cool to watch!
A colleague told me that her husband has the same IQ and weight. Here I sit and think what she had in mind. Whether her husband is a fat nerd, or a thin moron.
In Ukraine, "The Tale of the Golden Cockerel" by A. S. Pushkin is included in the list of extremist literature, as it contains the experience of a successful attempt on the life of the head of state, using a drone.
The husband mutters to his wife through a dream:
- Honey, please take off my slippers and turn off the TV.
- Be patient, my little baby. We are still in the theater...
- Honey, please take off my slippers and turn off the TV.
- Be patient, my little baby. We are still in the theater...
(From the news - Apple may completely block Russian smartphones in the near future).
- But remember, Cinderella - when the clock strikes midnight, your iPhone XIV will turn into a brick.
- But remember, Cinderella - when the clock strikes midnight, your iPhone XIV will turn into a brick.
- Mom, how do you know what you love? That she fell in love with him, the only one and for life ...
- This is when, daughter, when you are ready to spoil the rest of your life only for him, and no one else.
- This is when, daughter, when you are ready to spoil the rest of your life only for him, and no one else.
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