Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
A new app is sweeping the AppStore, using GPS technology similar to Grindr/ Tinder, ActivityBuddy matches up people who enjoy the same activity. The #1 activity? Anonymous gay sex.
Latest Jokes
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and
one
says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last
night?"
A: The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my
fife."
one
says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last
night?"
A: The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my
fife."
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so
the
saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords.
the
saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords.
Q: How many Union
Lighting Technicians
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's not a bulb, it's a
globe.
Lighting Technicians
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's not a bulb, it's a
globe.
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in
a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
Q: How many
actors does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I
could've done
that."
actors does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I
could've done
that."
How many film directors
does it take
to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two
times and when he's done,
everyone says that his last light bulb was
much better.
does it take
to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two
times and when he's done,
everyone says that his last light bulb was
much better.
A movie producer is lying by the pool at
the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of
excitement.
"How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy.
"It went
great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct
for six
million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the
whole
picture for under fifty million."
"Fabulous," says the guy by
the pool.
"There's just one catch," his partner
warns.
"What's the catch?"
"We have to put up ten thousand in cash".
the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of
excitement.
"How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy.
"It went
great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct
for six
million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the
whole
picture for under fifty million."
"Fabulous," says the guy by
the pool.
"There's just one catch," his partner
warns.
"What's the catch?"
"We have to put up ten thousand in cash".
One lab mouse to another:
I've trained that
crazy human at last.
How have you done that?
I don't know how,
but every time I run through that maze and ring the
bell, he gives
me a piece of cheese.
I've trained that
crazy human at last.
How have you done that?
I don't know how,
but every time I run through that maze and ring the
bell, he gives
me a piece of cheese.
What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the
other?
I didn't know we lived on the same block.
other?
I didn't know we lived on the same block.
Did you hear about the monster who went to a
holiday camp? He
won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and
he wasn't even
entered.
holiday camp? He
won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and
he wasn't even
entered.
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