Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her
hands
when she sneezed?
To catch her false teeth.
hands
when she sneezed?
To catch her false teeth.
Fan: I've always admired you. Are your teeth
your own?
Actor: Whose do you think they are?
your own?
Actor: Whose do you think they are?
The young lad had applied for a job, and was
asked his full name.
"Aloysius Montmorency Geoghan," he replied.
"How do you spell that?" asked
the manager. "Er ? sir ? er ? can't
you just put it down without
spelling it?"
asked his full name.
"Aloysius Montmorency Geoghan," he replied.
"How do you spell that?" asked
the manager. "Er ? sir ? er ? can't
you just put it down without
spelling it?"
First witch: Here's a banana
if you can
spell it.
Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when
to
stop.
if you can
spell it.
Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when
to
stop.
How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g.
That's
wrong.
That's what you asked for, isn't it?
That's
wrong.
That's what you asked for, isn't it?
School Doctor:
Have you ever had trouble
with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to
spell it.
Have you ever had trouble
with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to
spell it.
"Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"
The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she
asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."
The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she
asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."
Why were the two managers sitting around
sketching crockery before the start of the game?
It was a cup draw!
sketching crockery before the start of the game?
It was a cup draw!
A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship
landing in
front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and
started to pump
gas into it. The woman noticed the letters
''U.F.O.'' printed on
the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and
asked ''Does U.F.O.
stand for Unidentified Flying Object?''
The alien answered, ''No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!''
landing in
front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and
started to pump
gas into it. The woman noticed the letters
''U.F.O.'' printed on
the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and
asked ''Does U.F.O.
stand for Unidentified Flying Object?''
The alien answered, ''No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!''
President Dubya was awakened one night by an
urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star
general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad
news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad
news
first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by
creatures
from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good
news,
sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."
urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star
general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad
news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad
news
first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by
creatures
from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good
news,
sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."
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