Jokes Collection

Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.

Featured Joke

My wife screams like crazy during sex...
...especially when I walk in on her!!!
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Latest Jokes

What reads and lives in an apple ?
A bookworm
!
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What's the difference between a worm and an
apple ?
Have you ever tried worm pie ?!
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What did the Gorilla do with the apple
he was
holding in his hands?
He brought it to school and said, 'An Ape-lle
for the
teacher!'
Added: Jan 1, 2018
Why did Eve want to move to New York ?
She
fell for the Big Apple !
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What do you get if you cross a jogger
with an
apple pie ?
Puff pastry !
Added: Jan 1, 2018
Why don't apples smile
when you go bobbing
?
Because they're crab apples !
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What did the worm want to do when he grew

up?
He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What did the apple say to the apple
pie?
"You've got some crust."
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What kind of apple isn't an apple?
A
pineapple.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What is the left side of an apple?
The part
that you don't eat.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What kind of apple has a
short temper?
A
crab apple.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his
orchard?
Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Added: Jan 1, 2018
After a minor mathematical error on a routine
report, a worker's boss
tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If
you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how
many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who
asked, I'd still have 4
apples."
Added: Jan 1, 2018
A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through

northern California's apple country.

He stopped at an orchard
and asked the owner, "How much are yer
apples?"

"All you
can pick for one dollar," said the rancher.

"Okay," said the
Pennsylvanian. "I'll take two dollars'
worth."
Added: Jan 1, 2018
Two girls were having their packed lunch in

the school yard. One had an apple and the other said,
'Watch out for
worms won't you !'
The first one replied, 'why should I ? They
can watch out for
themselves.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why?

The orchard's on fire.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what
does
an onion do?
Keeps everyone away.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it
down hill.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
What can a whole apple do that half an apple

can't do?
It can look round.
Added: Jan 1, 2018
Once upon a time there were five apples
Which
was the cowboy?
None - because they were all redskins.
Added: Jan 1, 2018

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