Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson had the same nickname growing up, can you guess what it is? Nigger
Latest Jokes
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks,
"Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm
all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all
polar
bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the
baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I
pure polar
bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all
polar bear, your
father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear,
and his
parents are all polar bear."
Still not convinced the baby polar
bear goes to his grandparents and
asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I
all polar bear?" His grandmother
answers, "Of course you are
sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is
all polar bear, your
father is all polar bear, and his parents are all
polar bear. Why do you
ask sweetie?"
The baby polar bears replies, "Because I'm
f****** freezing!"
"Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm
all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all
polar
bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the
baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I
pure polar
bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all
polar bear, your
father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear,
and his
parents are all polar bear."
Still not convinced the baby polar
bear goes to his grandparents and
asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I
all polar bear?" His grandmother
answers, "Of course you are
sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is
all polar bear, your
father is all polar bear, and his parents are all
polar bear. Why do you
ask sweetie?"
The baby polar bears replies, "Because I'm
f****** freezing!"
Dewey and Odell met
on the Brownsville main
street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and
yore wife is goin' ta
night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh," answered
Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican
baby, and we wanna
be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta
talk!"
on the Brownsville main
street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and
yore wife is goin' ta
night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh," answered
Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican
baby, and we wanna
be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta
talk!"
Q: How many baby sitters
does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough.
does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough.
Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the
crib?
Daughter: You told me to change the baby.
crib?
Daughter: You told me to change the baby.
Three men were discussing at a bar about
coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two
cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That's funny", the second man
remarked, "my wife was reading 'the
three musketeers' and she
gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to
rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I
left the
house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty
Thieves"!!!
coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two
cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That's funny", the second man
remarked, "my wife was reading 'the
three musketeers' and she
gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to
rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I
left the
house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty
Thieves"!!!
Mum, is it true my baby sister came
from
Heaven?
Yes, that's right.
Well, I don't blame God for chucking
her out.
from
Heaven?
Yes, that's right.
Well, I don't blame God for chucking
her out.
Why did the baby monster put his father
in
the freezer?
Because he wanted frozen pop.
in
the freezer?
Because he wanted frozen pop.
Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in
weight in
two weeks by drinking elephant's milk.
Whose baby was
it?
The elephant's!
weight in
two weeks by drinking elephant's milk.
Whose baby was
it?
The elephant's!
Do you like your
new baby sister?
She's
all right.
Do you play with her?
No, and we can't even send
her back because she's been here more than
28 days.
new baby sister?
She's
all right.
Do you play with her?
No, and we can't even send
her back because she's been here more than
28 days.
Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs
Bigger's
baby?
Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.
Bigger's
baby?
Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.
Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby
sister?
I'd much rather have a jelly baby.
sister?
I'd much rather have a jelly baby.
A distraught mum rushed into the back
yard,
where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old
upturned tin bath with a poker.
"What do you think you're doing?" she
demanded.
"I'm just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy.
"Where is the baby?" asked his Mum.
"Under the bath."
yard,
where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old
upturned tin bath with a poker.
"What do you think you're doing?" she
demanded.
"I'm just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy.
"Where is the baby?" asked his Mum.
"Under the bath."
I see the baby's nose is running
again,"
said a worried father.
"For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't
you think of anything
other than horse racing?"
again,"
said a worried father.
"For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't
you think of anything
other than horse racing?"
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