Jokes Collection

Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.

Featured Joke

Because, Brigadier General asked him to debrief his team.
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Latest Jokes

and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied,

"Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be on the boat!
Added: Jan 2, 2018
The lesbian couple. They are going to be gone lickity split, while the gay couple is still at home packing their shit.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Knock-knock

Who's there?

To

To who?

*To whom*
Added: Jan 2, 2018
When I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come in equality.
`
And then I wait for the next bus.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Between the covers.

I will now show myself to the door.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him:

- Where's England, Jon?

He proudly answers:

- Page 83.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
...except "Drops of Jupiter". That one's ok.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
What happened to the blind circumcisionist?

He got the sack!

Don't think Circumcisionist is a real word but it sounds better then surgeon or urologist.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
The first one asks for a pint. The second one asks for half a pint. The third one asks for quarter a pint and so on. When the fourth one asks for 1/8th of a pint, the bartender gives them two pints instead and says:

"You guys should know your limits."
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Put it out man!
Added: Jan 2, 2018
It took a while to sink in.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Fool proof!
Added: Jan 2, 2018
[hope you can decrypt it]
Added: Jan 2, 2018
"It's all in the execution."
Added: Jan 2, 2018
I'll start:
I was at -273.15°C one time. It was OK.
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Seriously, it was dynamite.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
To get to the other side.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Because he fell asleep on duty.
Added: Jan 2, 2018

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