Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
Jethro is the first in a long line of hillbillies and bumpkins to attend schooling beyond the eighth grade. After his first day of high school, the whole family is bursting with pride to see him swaggering up the driveway.
His father says, "Jethro, come tell us about that fancy high school! What'd you learn up there today?"
Jethro says, "Pa, they taught me some al-gee-bra."
His father is dumbstruck. "What is al-gee-bra, boy?"
Jethro says, "I ain't too sure. I think it's a math language."
His father says, "Well, speak some of that fancy al-gee-bra for us!"
Jethro says, "Pi R Squared."
Everyone in the family stops smiling. Jethro's father shakes his head. "No, boy. Pie are round. Cornbread are squared."
His father says, "Jethro, come tell us about that fancy high school! What'd you learn up there today?"
Jethro says, "Pa, they taught me some al-gee-bra."
His father is dumbstruck. "What is al-gee-bra, boy?"
Jethro says, "I ain't too sure. I think it's a math language."
His father says, "Well, speak some of that fancy al-gee-bra for us!"
Jethro says, "Pi R Squared."
Everyone in the family stops smiling. Jethro's father shakes his head. "No, boy. Pie are round. Cornbread are squared."
A man interested in becoming a therapist applies to work as a trainee and begins apprenticeship. He learns for a few weeks and observes technique.
"Now we're going to try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy," says the therapist. "The method essentially focuses on identifying problems and what the patient thinks causes them then rewording their response to remove any instance of self blame and restructing the negative thought with a more constructive approach. I'll work with the first patient as an example, and you'll work with the next one."
A young college student walks through the door, clearly distressed. "I did awful on my most recent exam! I am a complete failure!"
The therapist thinks for a moment then says, "Surely you're not a complete failure. You do well in your other classes, no?" The student nodded. "Based on your past experiences, then, it's false to conclude you're a complete failure from one bad grade. Perhaps this was a difficult test for everyone. You did your best, and now you can seek extra help in the class if need be." The student thanked the therapist and left with a smile.
The next patient walked in. "Now, it's your turn."
"Every night I come home my wife immediately starts yelling at me. She must not love me anymore!"
The trainee thought for a minute, then said "Well, try looking at it this way; you are now free to pursue other women."
"Now we're going to try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy," says the therapist. "The method essentially focuses on identifying problems and what the patient thinks causes them then rewording their response to remove any instance of self blame and restructing the negative thought with a more constructive approach. I'll work with the first patient as an example, and you'll work with the next one."
A young college student walks through the door, clearly distressed. "I did awful on my most recent exam! I am a complete failure!"
The therapist thinks for a moment then says, "Surely you're not a complete failure. You do well in your other classes, no?" The student nodded. "Based on your past experiences, then, it's false to conclude you're a complete failure from one bad grade. Perhaps this was a difficult test for everyone. You did your best, and now you can seek extra help in the class if need be." The student thanked the therapist and left with a smile.
The next patient walked in. "Now, it's your turn."
"Every night I come home my wife immediately starts yelling at me. She must not love me anymore!"
The trainee thought for a minute, then said "Well, try looking at it this way; you are now free to pursue other women."
Teacher: Why are you Late Today?
Student: Because of sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
Student: Because of sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .
How to Use Our Jokes
Share with Friends
Brighten someone's day by sharing our jokes with friends and family via social media or email.
Public Speaking
Break the ice at presentations or gatherings with a well-timed joke from our collection.
Content Creation
Find inspiration for your blogs, social media posts, or newsletters with our diverse joke library.