Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
There's a man on phone. Panting and scared.
"Hello 911? My name is Mitch. My friend and I came to the forest for hunting and he has been attacked by a bear. I think he's dead. I am not really sure what to do and we're in the middle of nowhere. Please help!!"
Operator: OK OK Mitch. We're going to help you. Please calm down. First we need to make sure your friend is really dead. I'll tell you wh...
The phone is suddenly cut off. There's a silence for a while. And suddenly-
BANG!!
- "Alright now what?"
"Hello 911? My name is Mitch. My friend and I came to the forest for hunting and he has been attacked by a bear. I think he's dead. I am not really sure what to do and we're in the middle of nowhere. Please help!!"
Operator: OK OK Mitch. We're going to help you. Please calm down. First we need to make sure your friend is really dead. I'll tell you wh...
The phone is suddenly cut off. There's a silence for a while. And suddenly-
BANG!!
- "Alright now what?"
One day, a mother and her toddler daughter are out at the park, when they see two teens having sex. The daughter asks, "Mommy, what are they doing?". The mother, flustered, says, "They are making cake" and leave the park to go to the zoo.
At the zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. The girl asks, "What are they doing?", and the mom says "Making cake".
Several days later, the little girl asks, "Mommy, were you and Daddy making cake yesterday on the couch?". Surprised, the mother says, "Yes, but how did you know?". The girl responds, "I went there later and licked up all the icing."
At the zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. The girl asks, "What are they doing?", and the mom says "Making cake".
Several days later, the little girl asks, "Mommy, were you and Daddy making cake yesterday on the couch?". Surprised, the mother says, "Yes, but how did you know?". The girl responds, "I went there later and licked up all the icing."
A scientist walks into a bar and seems depressed.
The bartender asks "What's the matter?"
The scientist replies "Everything is matter."
The bartender asks "What's the matter?"
The scientist replies "Everything is matter."
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