Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Featured Joke
Two guys own a zoo. To their angst their lone female gorilla
goes into heat. Knowing she will be violent if not looked after
they take her to a vet for advice. He says she needs to be bred
by a male gorilla. Knowing they can't find a male they weigh
their options. One says to the other, hey that guy that cleans
the cages is kind of crazy, maybe he'll do it. They ask him if
he'd do it for $500. He asks for some time to think about it.
The next day he comes back to the guys and says he'll do it on
three conditions.
1) No commitments, once it's done it's over.
2) If there is any kids I'm not responsible.
The two say O.K. no problem, what's your third condition?
Well he says it's going to take me a few weeks to come up with
the 500 dollars......
goes into heat. Knowing she will be violent if not looked after
they take her to a vet for advice. He says she needs to be bred
by a male gorilla. Knowing they can't find a male they weigh
their options. One says to the other, hey that guy that cleans
the cages is kind of crazy, maybe he'll do it. They ask him if
he'd do it for $500. He asks for some time to think about it.
The next day he comes back to the guys and says he'll do it on
three conditions.
1) No commitments, once it's done it's over.
2) If there is any kids I'm not responsible.
The two say O.K. no problem, what's your third condition?
Well he says it's going to take me a few weeks to come up with
the 500 dollars......
Latest Jokes
- Aren't you sure everything will be good?
- Don't be afraid, I've been welder here for ten years, everything is in order.
Conversation between welders, August, Beirut.
- Don't be afraid, I've been welder here for ten years, everything is in order.
Conversation between welders, August, Beirut.
At the 2020 film festival, in the horror film genre, the first three awards went to documentaries.
Found a simple way to treat coronavirus. It really doesn't heal a damn thing, but it's simple.
I hate it when doctors ask uncomfortable questions.
- Do you smoke?
- Damn ... Yes, I smoke.
- You are drinking?
- Well, damn it, I'm drinking.
- Are you sexually active?
- Give a definition of activity! I know many active volcanoes that have not erupted in the past five years!
- Do you smoke?
- Damn ... Yes, I smoke.
- You are drinking?
- Well, damn it, I'm drinking.
- Are you sexually active?
- Give a definition of activity! I know many active volcanoes that have not erupted in the past five years!
Many girls don't answer video calls after 10 p.m. because by that time their faces are back to factory settings.
The dream of any man is to have a wife so that he would live as if he were single ... in the sense of freedom, not life ...
CNN News:
Beirut is destroyed - and the Russians are to blame for bringing saltpeter to the Africans!
Petrov and Boshirov Highly Likely had a nuclear charge with them during a tour of the Middle East!
Cairo, Damascus and Tehran are looking for the portable nuclear charge lost by the Skripal poisoners!
Beirut is destroyed - and the Russians are to blame for bringing saltpeter to the Africans!
Petrov and Boshirov Highly Likely had a nuclear charge with them during a tour of the Middle East!
Cairo, Damascus and Tehran are looking for the portable nuclear charge lost by the Skripal poisoners!
The fight against the epidemic has shown that the coronavirus is won not where it is treated well, but where it is statistics better.
- Hello, how is life after quarantine?
- I lost my job, money, family, but everything is fine.
- I lost my job, money, family, but everything is fine.
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