Jokes Collection

Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.

Featured Joke

Fucking close to water.
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Latest Jokes

- Mr. Trump, do you think, maybe other countries know better how America should behave, how should Americans live and build relations with other nations?
- Yes, you're crazy ...
- Then another question: maybe other countries are in a position to decide how to live and what to do, without instructions and cries from Washington?
- Yes, you are definitely crazy!
Added: Mar 12, 2018
- Why are your dishes broken?
- We swore!
- Why is the sofa broken?
- We reconciled ...
Added: Mar 11, 2018
- For whom will you vote?
- For Putin!
- Well it is clear. And then?
Added: Mar 8, 2018
In the Russian Federal Space Agency for many years lamented that they have missiles flying horrible, but now they realized that they have an unpredictable flight path.
Added: Mar 8, 2018
Please do not be rude to me, because then I have to be rude to you, and I can do it much better than you.
Added: Mar 8, 2018
Russia, aspiring to the future - this is when not all have the connected to the gas in the villages, but are already ready to turn off the Internet.
Added: Mar 8, 2018
I sympathize with Vladimir Vladimirovich. He has no career prospects.
Added: Mar 7, 2018
Lecture in the Academy of Medicine. Lecturer:
- In women in the vagina live lacto bacteria and bifidobacteria ...
Replica from the rear rows:
- Look like it's not a cunt, it's a miracle yogurt!
Added: Mar 7, 2018
- And Masha gave me sex for her birthday!
- Phew, what it is not original - gives everyone the same thing!
Added: Mar 6, 2018
At a briefing in the White House:
- What will the Pentagon answer to the new Russian weapons ?!
- The Pentagon believes that cartoon characters should fight animated weapons. Therefore, "Chip and Dale rush to the rescue" will be a worthy response.
Added: Mar 5, 2018
In a modern fairy tale, the opposite is true: a naked people applauds the king in a suit from Brioni.
Added: Mar 5, 2018
The newest defense missiles of Russia can hit New York and Washington anywhere in the world.
Added: Mar 5, 2018
Trump decided to give out weapons to the teachers.
Librarians will be given pistols with silencers.
Added: Mar 1, 2018
The plan of Russians for today (and not only):
1. Woke up in the morning.
2. Looked up your name on the new 'US sanctions list'.
3. If you did not find it.
4. Go to work make money for compensation to those who got on this list.
Added: Feb 2, 2018
Poroshenko denied reports of a vacation on Maldives for half a million dollars under a false name. And reported that in the Maldives rested some Valtsman.
Added: Jan 23, 2018
Guys, you know, after the wedding, the women's period will be 4 times longer than before.
Added: Jan 23, 2018
- Sophia, do not you dare go to these elections for yourself!
- Yashenka, I'll go for Putin!
- Those who are for Putin will not go to the polls. Putin and without them will be chosen. But those who are against, will go to the poll and these people will be under police surveillance.
Added: Jan 23, 2018
- Microsoft offers new concept of a smart home ...
- Yeah, in which you need to close all the windows, go out and enter to have enough memory to turn on the TV?
Added: Jan 17, 2018
- Sema, are you going to the polls on March 18?
- Yes, yes!
- But why? After all, nothing depends on you!
- Of course it does not depend. But, just in case, I will support the winner!
Added: Jan 8, 2018
- Does your bank give loans on parole?
- No problem...
- What if I do not return it?
- You will be ashamed when you stand before the Almighty ...
- When it will be! ...
- For example, if you do not return the fifth, the sixth person will appear ...
Added: Jan 2, 2018

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