Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
What did the egg say to the
boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute
ago."
boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute
ago."
"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light.
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light.
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light.
Theresa May wanted to show Russia that she was a new "iron lady", but she showed that she is wooden for the whole head.
My record in the sexual intercourse was 67 minutes, although it was during clock switching for summer time.
- Assad poisoned civilians with chemical weapons!
- But why?
- Because he is Assad, of course!
- Clear. And Putin poisoned the exchanged spies because he is Putin, apparently?
- Well, you see, you yourself know everything.
- But why?
- Because he is Assad, of course!
- Clear. And Putin poisoned the exchanged spies because he is Putin, apparently?
- Well, you see, you yourself know everything.
Asymmetric response.
The Americans could not respond to Russia's intervention in the American elections. Because of the lack of elections in Russia.
The Americans could not respond to Russia's intervention in the American elections. Because of the lack of elections in Russia.
- Theresa May is trying very hard to be like Margaret Thatcher, but is something missing?
- Brains.
- Brains.
Dear British, do as you please; impose sanctions, arrest assets, send diplomats, but! please do not rename Trafalgar Square to Skrypal Square. Russia will not survive such a blow !!!
Do you know why they do not poison Gorbachev or Khodorkovsky?
Because if this is blamed on Putin, his rating will jump to 98%.
Because if this is blamed on Putin, his rating will jump to 98%.
British scientists have established that Boris Johnson was poisoned by a substance called Durachok. Its formula is unknown, but for the effects of the impact it is exact - IT.
How to Use Our Jokes
Share with Friends
Brighten someone's day by sharing our jokes with friends and family via social media or email.
Public Speaking
Break the ice at presentations or gatherings with a well-timed joke from our collection.
Content Creation
Find inspiration for your blogs, social media posts, or newsletters with our diverse joke library.