Jokes Collection

Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.

Featured Joke

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Latest Jokes

— You aphorist?
— How did you know, stooge?
— Standing in the middle of the street. Swear. You mention some "bit.h." Pull the string of beech.
— So? B.tch, why don't you like my beech bowstring, smart guy?
— I wonder why you are still not on the portal of aphorisms?
— This idea! Understood. Running, running. (Urmantsev)
Added: Aug 3, 2019
Most philosophers do not use the definition of "being."
A minority of philosophers use quotations with the concept of "being".
The name of the third category is Martin Heidegger. (Urmantsev)
Added: Aug 2, 2019
— Seller, and that biscuit in this Eclair?
— Throughout.
— The seller, and that sponge cakes or eclairs?
— Buyer, I you for the third time explain to you at the bar with engine oil. (Urmantsev)
Added: Aug 1, 2019
— What else would a little old to read on aphorism.ru?
— A look tomorrow to your account Galu Galina!
— Thanks for the advice. Will there be an old one from 2016?
— No, we are waiting for the truck with replays from 2014!
— Wow!
Added: Aug 1, 2019
- Are you cosmopolitan?
- I'm anti-Semitic.
Added: Jul 29, 2019
- Are you anti-Semitic?
- Yeah.
- And you won't believe it! You look like a cosmopolitan.
Added: Jul 29, 2019
— Are you anti-Semitic?
— No. I'm iodophobic!
— He looks like he's healthy.
Added: Jul 27, 2019
- Sir, in the next Athenaeum club they say there is no God.
- Judging by Barrymore, how much Mayfair street merchants, it's true.
Added: Jul 24, 2019
— Are you anti-Semitic?
— No. I'm Russophobic!
— A, means, is a clever.
Added: Jul 23, 2019
In social networks:
— Are you anti-Semitic?
— I think Yes.
— it is Necessary to disinfect the computer.
Added: Jul 23, 2019
- Are you a Zionist?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
Added: Jul 23, 2019
- Are you Yudofil?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
Added: Jul 23, 2019
— Are you Yudofil?
— No, I'm just smart.
Added: Jul 23, 2019
— You aphorist?
— Almost.
— It's like?
— Let me introduce myself. I'm a Taxidermist of the Russian language!
— And tell me something in Your language, in taxidermists!
— The life of a Taxidermist Russian language worse than a dog's death.
— Wow!
Added: Jul 21, 2019
How to determine the scribbler in book publishing?
— Hi. Read Smith's manu?
— Yeah.
— What is it?
— Verbs of the present tense.
— Sympathize. To refuse! In the furnace!
Added: Jul 20, 2019
— Floor electronic scales are full, add one kilogram.
— Sell us half of this model!
Added: Jul 19, 2019
— Doctor, I can't sleep! Eyes are shaking, cheeks tremble. His whole face is shaking.
— And you, the patient, do not brush teeth electric toothbrush Soviet electronics 4PC with four microprocessors and wired with a cord?
— Yeah. how did You know? As bought a brush in 1984, and do not part with it.
Added: Jul 13, 2019
Aferisty portal aphorism.ru! Start Your sentences with capital letters, not lowercase, as You have taken!

And make a habit - although this is a problem for You - to put a period at the end of the phrase published on the portal.

Russian teachers of Russian language
Added: Jul 13, 2019
— Everyone talks like a God...
— If this "everyone" is in a mental hospital.
— And where are You?
Added: Jul 3, 2019
— Doctor, help!
— Oh, what an interesting case!
Added: Jun 29, 2019

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