Jokes Collection

Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.

Featured Joke

last night Tom Brady was sacked more than milk and bread at the grocery store before a snow day
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Latest Jokes

The Arab immediately steals 3 pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing." The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"

The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's back pocket....."
Added: Jan 2, 2018
I put on the wrong sock this morning.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Pope corn!
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Because you can't get to the fridge if there's a dragon guarding it.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Teacher: Johnny! The word is urinate. Once you can use urinate in a sentence, you my go to the bathroom

So time later....

Johnny: I thought of one

Teacher: Yes Johnny

Johnny: Urinate, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!
Added: Jan 2, 2018
My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Three, two for fun and one just to make sure.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
... and sees a big sign that reads, "Three balls 25?"
So he walks up to the lady behind the counter, pulls down his pants and says, "Ok, gimme a quarter."

Added: Jan 2, 2018
A vag-etarian.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
..by everyone except Jon Snow. He knows nothing.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
You don't see me in the kitchen telling them how to make a sandwich.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
A vegetarian.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
Dyslexia
Added: Jan 2, 2018
A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
Shout out to u/mister_damage
Added: Jan 2, 2018
What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a maltese shih tzu?
An abortion.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
One will wait until you're 13 to come all over your face.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
so Bob has 20 dollar and Tyrone takes 15 dollars away from Bob.

What color is Tyrone ?
Added: Jan 2, 2018
None they just beat up the room for being black.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
I don't know his name, but I know he was in a German tank.
Added: Jan 2, 2018
A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
Added: Jan 2, 2018

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