Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
You've never seen it? It's a really great Disney Pixar movie from 2009. I swear, it makes me cry every time. You should definitely go find a copy and watch it.
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
If you put the logs too close together the fire grows too hot and burns out quickly. If you put the logs too far apart the fire goes cold. The trick is having the logs just the right distance apart.
And every once in a while you have to use your poker.
And every once in a while you have to use your poker.
A russian walks into a bar and asks for some vodka. He takes the glass with his right hand and with the other he closes his nose.
The bartender got curious and questioned what was that about.
The russian replied:
"You know, the vodka smell lefts me mouth-watering and what i like is pure vodka."
The bartender got curious and questioned what was that about.
The russian replied:
"You know, the vodka smell lefts me mouth-watering and what i like is pure vodka."
....sits down, and orders a scotch. At the other end of the bar he sees a geologist knocking them back like there's no tomorrow. Concerned, Calvin approaches the man and says, "What's troubling you friend?" The geologist says, "I broke my carbon today at work, oh my god, I'm gonna get fired, I have a family, what's going to happen to my kids?" Then a dawn of realization hits him. "Wait, you're Melvin Calvin! Can you fix my Carbon?" Calvin thinks about it a little, looking the man up and down, checking out the geologist's uniform. After a while, he finally says, "Depends... RUBP?"
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