I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.

The Republican Party is the party of Eddie Haskell and the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

My first open mic was fantastic. I crushed. And my second mic was as bad as my first one was good.

To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.