A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there.\' And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up.

I try to be appreciative of what I have instead of bitter about what I've lost.

No,\' I replied testily. \'I'm pretty sure 'digital' is Latin for 'fingeral,' so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic anatomy, Dr. Roland.\' The Dr. Roland told me that he thought I was overreacting, and the \'fingeral\' wasn't even a real word. Then I told him that I though he was underreacting, probably because he's embarrassed that he doesn't know how Latin works. Then he claimed that \'underrecating\' isn't a word either. The man has a terrible bedside manner.

When I was in junior high I read a lot of Danielle Steele. So I always assumed that the day I got engaged I'd be naked, covered in rose petals, and sleeping with the brother of the man who'd kidnapped me.