Rush Limbaugh

The world's biggest problem is the unequal distribution of capitalism. If there were capitalism everywhere, you wouldn't have food shortages.

End results that work that don't involve government threaten liberals.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Take that bone out of your nose and call me back (to an African American female caller).

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed.

They oughtta change Black History Month to Black Progress Month and start measuring it.

Women still live longer than men because their lives are easier.

She comes to me when she wants to be fed. And after I feed her -- guess what -- she's off to wherever she wants to be in the house, until the next time she gets hungry. She's smart enough to know she can't feed herself. She's actually a very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn't have to do anything for it, which is why I say this cat's taught me more about women, than anything my whole life.

Too many whites are getting away with drug use...Too many whites are getting away with drug sales...The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them, and send them up the river, too.

When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it's an invitation.

I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen.

Citizen service is a repudiation of the principles upon which our country was based. We are all here for ourselves.

And don't forget, Sherrod Brown is black. There's a racial component here, too. And now, the newspaper that I'm reading all this from is The New York Times, and they, of course, don't mention that.

Do you know we have more acreage of forest land in the United States today than we did at the time the Constitution was written.

He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act. ... This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting.

To some people, bankers - code word for Jewish - and guess who Obama's assaulting? He's assaulting bankers. He's assaulting money people. And a lot of those people on Wall Street are Jewish. So I wonder if there's starting to be some buyer's remorse there.

You just gotta be who you are, and I think it's time to get rid of this whole National Basketball Association. Call it the TBA, the Thug Basketball Association, and stop calling them teams. Call 'em gangs.

Holocaust? Ninety million Indians? Only four million left? They all have casinos - what's to complain about?

What is it with all of these young, single white women? Overeducated- doesn't mean intelligent.

Obama's got a health care logo that's right out of Adolf Hitler's playbook ... Adolf Hitler, like Barack Obama, also ruled by dictate.

This will play right into Obama's hands. He's humanitarian, compassionate. They'll use this to burnish their, shall we say, 'credibility' with the black community -- in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It's made-to-order for them. That's why he couldn't wait to get out there, could not wait to get out there.

We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax.

Obama is a clown. You don't have to be a scientist to know that the President doesn't know what he's talking about when he says fossil fuels are the energy of the past. We have more oil than we need. We'll never run out of it. It's all we've got.

Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult's taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards...There's going to be a retard summit at the White House.

What better way to head off more oil drilling, nuclear plants, than by blowing up a rig? I'm just noting the timing, here.

Cholesterol has nothing to do with heart disease. Nothing wrong with saturated fats.

There are more American Indians alive today than there were when Columbus arrived or at any other time in history. Does this sound like a record of genocide?

Guess what? Faisal Shahzad is a registered Democrat. I wonder if his SUV had an Obama sticker on it.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.