Johnny Knoxville

You were about five feet short of a ten feet jump?

I am nothing that isn't professional.

I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?

Being a complete juvenile delinquent helped me grow up a little.

But I can still lick the spoon!

I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.

If someone hits me I consider it a challenge.

I'm not looking to lose anything. I'm looking to continue making movies.

I just try to think of all the things that could go wrong so in that split second when it happens, maybe your body reacts in a way where it protects you just a little.

I'm just basking in the glory.

I want to do dramas. I want to do comedies.

I don't care what other people think.

People go to car races to watch the crashes.

I'm the fun dad, I am also the disciplinarian.

Suffering will get you great footage. I don't know about closer to God. Although there have been times when I've suffered to the point where I think I might be about to meet him.

I have a whole slew of doctors. I can count eight in my phone right now - eight different doctors, all for different parts of my body. I have specialists.

My parents said that I was nine months old and would throw myself out of the crib onto the floor continually. As soon as they left the room after putting me back in they'd hear a big bump and I'd be on the floor again.

Everyone gets hurt, but I've probably had the most injuries.

I'm lucky enough to be with someone, and I am happy.

I do get obsessed with constantly thinking of ideas, all day long, but that's just how it is.

Everything you see on screen is real. By doing what we do, there's naturally going to be a lot of grimacing. And whimpering.

I love the tabloids except for when I'm in 'em.

I was a really bad kid. Then, I got sweet as I got older.

What an honor that Stephen Prouty got nominated for best makeup and hairstyling for 'Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa'. Am I as stunned as everyone else we didn't get the nod for best picture? Well of course, duh, but I won't let that take away from my happiness for Steve, Tony Gardner, and our whole makeup team. Wahoo!

I think I'm a little concussed.

What calmed me down finally was when my girlfriend got pregnant.

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind.

People think by challenging me they're going to show they're tough. But I'm not tough. Decent drinker. Not such a bad kisser. But not a great fighter.

I just love that spirit that makes people do things that they probably shouldn't.

It's unfortunate when kids get hurt, but I wish parents would monitor what their kids are doing and watching. It's common sense, really.