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Chip Douglas: Tho? (Ace Goodman) | |
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Steven Kovacs: Well I really don't want to discuss it with you. Could you just install my cable please? I'm gonna go get dressed. The Cable Guy: Suit yourself. No sweat off my sac. Oh by the way, you might wanna put on a bathing suit 'cause you'll be channel surfing in no time! (Ace Goodman) The Cable Guy: [He and Steve are on horses about to charge one another] This is our destiny! Steven: No it's not! The Cable Guy: Yes it is! Steven: No it isn't! The Cable Guy: Yes it is! Steven: Isn't! The Cable Guy: T'is! Steven: Isn't! The Cable Guy: T'is! (Ace Goodman) [Steven punches him again; lisps] Cable Guy: You thtupid thon of a bitch! (Ace Goodman) The Cable Guy: I love this game! (Ace Goodman) Steven Kovacs: Sure. Chip Douglas: Check this out. [places pieces of chicken skin over his face] Chip Douglas: Silence of the lambs! [imitates Hannibal Lecter] Chip Douglas: Hello, Clarice. It's good to see you again. [bursts out laughing] Steven Kovacs: Oh lord. (Ace Goodman) Chip Douglas: It appears that we're going to do battle, Steven. Steven Kovacs: Is this a normal part of the show? Chip Douglas: No, but I gave all the knights free cable. They thought it would be cool if we went at it for a while. Steven Kovacs: Is it safe? Chip Douglas: Sure, that's what the armor's for. Come on. (Ace Goodman) Chip Douglas: You really wanna know my name? You do? Steven Kovacs: Sure. Chip Douglas: [after pause] It's Ernie Douglas. But my friends call me Chip. [Smiles at Steven] Steven Kovacs: Um... Goodbye. (Ace Goodman) Rick: Sure. Maybe I'll take MY cable guy. (Ace Goodman) Steven Kovacs: Yeah, my cable is out. Chip Douglas: [Presents a cut cord] Really? So you call me? Ha, funny how you call when you NEED something. Is that how you treat people? (Ace Goodman) [pounds on the door] Chip Douglas: Cably Guy? Cable Guy! [Rings the buzzer] Chip Douglas: Cabla goobla! (Ace Goodman) Chip Douglas: Well I'll tell you how you handle that: DON'T TELL HER. (Ace Goodman) Chip Douglas: I'm just talking trash. Steven Kovacs: You ruined the game. Chip Douglas: I don't appreciate your tone, Steve. Friends aren't supposed to talk to each other that way... Steven Kovacs: What are you talking about? We're not friends. I don't even know you. Chip Douglas: Well let's change that. Let me buy you a Heineken. (Ace Goodman) [the waiter walks off] Robin's date: Okay, I'm sorry to put you out. [Turns to Robin] Robin's date: See the attitude? (Ace Goodman) Chip Douglas: He's projecting all of his anger onto me. Maybe I should go. Robin Harris: No, don't go. Steven, you are being an asshole! (Ace Goodman) Chip Douglas: Hello, Steven, I came as soon as I could. Steven Kovacs: What's your real name? Chip Douglas: It's Larry Tate, but that's not what's important right now. We have to get you out of here. I was watching Court TV and I found a loophole in your case. I'm gonna talk to the judge about a writ of Habeas Corpus. I'll put the SYSTEM on trial. Steven Kovacs: Why are you doing this to me? Chip Douglas: I didn't do this to you, you did this to you. (Ace Goodman) | |
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