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[Histerical laughs] Tyler Durden: You just had a near-life experience! (Ace Goodman) Tyler Durden: I get cancer, I kill Jack. (Ace Goodman) Narrator: It's a comforter... Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Chloe: Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No-one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrate... [the group leader takes the mic] Group Leader: Thank you, Chloe... everyone, let's thank Chloe. (Ace Goodman) [the Narrator looks at Tyler, who's urinating in a pot] Tyler Durden: Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch. Narrator: Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well... Tyler Durden: [snickers] Go ahead. Tell 'em. Narrator: ...you get the idea. (Ace Goodman) Tyler Durden: Why? So you can pretend like you're interested? (Ace Goodman) Narrator: No, no, I... don't... Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. Narrator: It isn't? (Ace Goodman) Narrator: No, I did not know that; is that true? Tyler Durden: That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items. Narrator: Really...? Tyler Durden: If one were so inclined. Narrator: Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving... Tyler Durden: Oh I get it, it's very clever. Narrator: Thank you. Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you? Narrator: What? Tyler Durden: Being clever. Narrator: Great. Tyler Durden: Keep it up then... Right up. [Gets up from airplane seat] Tyler Durden: Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...? (Ace Goodman) Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? Narrator: You wouldn't believe. Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for? Narrator: A major one. (Ace Goodman) Narrator: I'd fight Gandhi. Tyler Durden: Good answer. Narrator: How about you? Tyler Durden: Lincoln. Narrator: Lincoln? Tyler Durden: Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger. (Ace Goodman) Tyler Durden: From now on, all those with shaved heads: "Space Monkeys". (Ace Goodman) | |
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