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  • Harry Osborn: You knew this was coming Pete!
    Peter Parker: Listen to me! I didn't kill your father!
    Harry Osborn: He was trying to kill me! He killed himself!
    Peter Parker: Shut up! (Ace Goodman)
  • Harry Osborn: You going to kill me like you did my father? (Ace Goodman)
  • Eddie Brock: Spidey, love the new outfit. Give me some of that web action. (Ace Goodman)
  • [from trailer]
    Peter Parker: This suit, where'd this come from? The power, feels good... But you lose yourself to it... (Ace Goodman)
  • [Harry, chasing Peter, throws one of his many devices at him. As it explodes and becomes a razor bat...]
    Peter Parker: Hate those things! (Ace Goodman)
  • [from trailer]
    Eddie Brock: [Spider-Man pulls himself up on to the car] Hey, Parker. (Ace Goodman)
  • Peter Parker: I don't need your help.
    Mary Jane Watson: Everybody needs help sometimes, Peter. Even Spider-Man. (Ace Goodman)
  • Dr. Curt Connors: It enhances aggression...
    [the symbiote slithers towards Peter, but it's quickly trapped under a glass]
    Dr. Curt Connors: It seems to like you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Peter Parker: I don't know what to do...
    Aunt May: I'm sure you'll find it within yourself to do the right thing. (Ace Goodman)
  • Aunt May: I believe in you, Peter. And I know you'll find a way to put it right... (Ace Goodman)
  • Eddie Brock: [as Black Suited Spiderman gets ready to plunge into the sewer and pursue Sandman] Wow Spidey, LOVE the new outfit! Give me some of that web action?
    Peter Parker: [Slings a string of web, grabs Eddie's camera and slams it against the wall breaking it] See ya, chump!
    Eddie Brock: [shouts at Spider- man who is already jumped down the sewer] What the *HELL*? (Ace Goodman)
  • Peter Parker: Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. My friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mox: I don't want your life! (Ace Goodman)
  • Charlie Tweeder: Jonathan Moxon your are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car. (Ace Goodman)
  • Billy Bob: I sure do love that dog.
    Mox: I think it's a pig.
    Billy Bob: Yeah. (Ace Goodman)
  • Miss Davis: Now I want y'all to repeat after me: penis, penis, penis; vagina, vagina, vagina! (Ace Goodman)
  • Miss Davis: Can anyone tell me a common slang term for the male erection?
    Student: Boner? Is boner one?
    Miss Davis: Yes! Boner is good, boner is very good! (Ace Goodman)
  • Billy Bob: [staring at Miss Davis's breasts] Miss Davis, would you go to the prom with me? (Ace Goodman)
  • Jonathon "Mox' Moxon: If we go out and half-ass it 'cause we're scared, then we'll always wonder if we were really good enough. But if we go out there and give it all we've got... that's heroic. You guys wanna be heroes? (Ace Goodman)
  • Jonathon "Mox' Moxon: The male erection. Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack's magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger... oh, and a pedro.
    Miss Davis: ...a pedro?
    Mox: yeah, uh huh. (Ace Goodman)
  • Coach Bud Kilmer: You got to be the dumbest smart kid I know. (Ace Goodman)
  • Charlie Tweeder: Ladies, shut up and hold on to your nipples! (Ace Goodman)
  • Charlie Tweeder: Will you listen to me? Bitches are all just panty droppers. You understand? That's it.
    Mox: What?
    Charlie Tweeder: Listen. You give 'em Percocet, two Vicoden and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It's very nice.
    Mox: [laughing] It's nice.
    Charlie Tweeder: [emphatically] It's nice.
    Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
    Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
    [looks up]
    Charlie Tweeder: What? (Ace Goodman)
  • Sam Moxon: I raised you to be a winner, so dammit boy, win! (Ace Goodman)
  • Charlie Tweeder: Hey you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance?
    [Tweeder dances]
    Charlie Tweeder: You know what it's called?
    Mox: What?
    Charlie Tweeder: The new Tweeder end zone dance. (Ace Goodman)
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  • If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears. (Isaac Hayes)


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  • “I would like to think I would rise to the occasion, but it's just interesting to me how powerful human beings can be when pushed to their limit and I really wanted to find it realistically that she could fight back, that she could take the skills she had learned just from being a hotel manager and turn them around and actually escape the situation.” (Rachel McAdams) [think/human/find/fight]