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Hutch: [taking a hit from a bong] It's the internet, it fries their brain cells. (Ace Goodman) Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk. Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder. (Ace Goodman) Assistant: For the better part of a decade. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Gwen: I'm not taking off my clothes. Van Wilder: Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit. [a hairy naked guy runs by] Van Wilder: Except that guy. (Ace Goodman) Van Wilder: Congratulations Taj, your first blow job! (Ace Goodman) Van Wilder: Sounds good. (Ace Goodman) Van Wilder: Au contraire, mon freres. (Ace Goodman) [Crickets chirp] (Ace Goodman) Richard: This party sucks rectum, Jeannie! (Ace Goodman) Friend: How do you put a price on poonani? (Ace Goodman) Richard: This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party. Van Wilder: Graphic. (Ace Goodman) Van Wilder: You two know each other? Richard: That's my girlfriend, gluteus erecti. (Ace Goodman) Van Wilder: He's here, who is running hell? (Ace Goodman) Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend. Van Wilder: Your boyfriend? What's his name? Gwen: I don't think that's any of your business. Van Wilder: [Puts on sunglasses and turns away] You're right (Ace Goodman) [under his breath] Van Wilder: Not that you had to. (Ace Goodman) | |
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