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Jim: Amazing. Stifler: Yes, the force is strong in that one. (Ace Goodman) Nadia: And I am lucky lady? Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live. (Ace Goodman) Stifler: Brilliant. You found Lesbians. [scoffs] Stifler: Good luck trying to break through that force field. Danielle: Lesbians? Amber: We never said that. Stifler: What? Amber: We never said that. Stifler: Oh... Oh, man. I will do anything... ANYTHING to sleep with you, chicks, okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll caress it even. I'll even shave some ass if they need it! [sounds of revulsion from young men at party] Stifler: Oh, yeah! You heard me! I will kiss everybody here! Dudes, chicks, everybody! Because I am comfortable with my sexuality! (Ace Goodman) | |
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Jim's Dad: Ah, yes. The one that got away. Jim: Yeah. Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet... Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a P.T.A. meeting. (Ace Goodman) Jim: Oh, very colorful, my dick looks like a paint by number. Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know who's dick needs an instruction manual. (Ace Goodman) Stifler: Its okay. Its okay. I know what I have to do. [starts undoing his shorts] Stifler: I have to keep this party going. I'm taking one for the team. [Finch and Jim run away] Finch: I AM NOT TOUCHING THAT. Jim: PUT THAT THING AWAY STIFLER. Stifler: What's wrong with you guys? We almost had them. Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing. (Ace Goodman) Michelle: Good Jim. Ooh, you're making me wet. Jim: Holy shit, really? Michelle: No, I was just saying that so you could practice. Jim: 'course. (Ace Goodman) Michelle: Oh. Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell. Jim: Eh, what? Michelle: You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower. (Ace Goodman) Stifler: [Also on the phone pretending to be Oz] Oh Heather baby. Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's. Oz: Stifler get off. Stifler: I am getting off listening to the two of you. Keep going. (Ace Goodman) Jim: What? That's not fair! I wasn't TRYING there. [to the girls] Jim: I'm really bett... Danielle: No judgment. Jim: Wait a second, you were trying? Stifler: Fuck, no! Jim: You WERE trying! Stifler: YOU were trying! Oh no I kissed Jim! (Ace Goodman) Stifler's brother: Steve the copwatch thing is horse shit. Man this sucks. Danielle: Who is it out there? Stifler's brother: It's the Stifmeister baby. Amber: Is that so? (Ace Goodman) Stifler: That totally counted. Danielle: That's the way to kiss you're mother. Stifler: [to Finch] DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING. (Ace Goodman) Oz: Heather what the hell is going on over there? (Ace Goodman) Stifler's Brother: Pussy man, I'm here for the pussy. Jim: Take a number. (Ace Goodman) Jim: Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches Stifler: Cause he fuckin' bit me! Finch: You touch me, I bite. (Ace Goodman) Stifler: [on walky-talky] I'm touchin' his ass, I'm touchin' his ass, I'm touchin his ass, I'm touchin' his ass... Little Boy: Mommy! (Ace Goodman) | |
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