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Cartman: Everybody's fucking seen it. Mrs. Cartman: Eric! Cartman: I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind. (Ace Goodman) Kyle: Dude! Cartman: What? Fuck you guys. I wanna get out of here. (Ace Goodman) | |
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[short pause] Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon. (Ace Goodman) [pause] Cartman: [yells] I said, who wants to fuckin' touch me? (Ace Goodman) General: I don't listen to hip-hop. (Ace Goodman) [all the African American members put up their hands including Chef] General: You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call "Operation Human Shield". Chef: Hey, wait a minute... General: Now keep in mind, 'Operation Human Shield' will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14? [all the White soldiers raise their hands] General: Right, you are 'Operation Get Behind The Darkies'. You will follow Battalion 5 here and try not to get killed for God's Sake. Are there any questions men? [Chef raises his hand] General: Yes Soldier? Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? General: I don't listen to hip-hop! Chef: Hey! (Ace Goodman) Saddam Hussein: Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time. Satan: [sighs] sometimes you can love someone very much, but still know they aren't right for you. Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* are you talking about? Satan: You treat me like shit, Saddam! I'm leaving you! Saddam Hussein: What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth! Satan: You don't even have any respect for me. Saddam Hussein: Sure I do, guy, please, just hear me out (Ace Goodman) Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy! (Ace Goodman) Kyle: Hmm OK Found: 8,000,000 pages found with the word clitoris. (Ace Goodman) Kenny: Mmf mm mpf mm mommmppf mmf momm mmom mf mff. Mff mffs mmmph mmf, mmph? Mmmpf mpph. (Ace Goodman) Chef: So finally, what a happy end / Americans and Canadians are friends again. (Ace Goodman) Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? / He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do! Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold, / he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold! Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears / he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair! Stan, Kyle: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? / I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do! Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me. / It has stunted my vocabulary. Kyle: And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone. Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist too, / 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! Stan, Kyle, Cartman: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town / and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do! [intermission] Stan, Kyle, Cartman: When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, / he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again! Cartman: And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Khan! Stan, Kyle, Cartman: 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody! / So let's call all the kids together / and unite to stop our moms. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! (Ace Goodman) Mr. Garrison: All right, now let's trying to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard? (Ace Goodman) [No response from the class] Mr. Garrison: Now come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot. [Clive raises his hand] Clive: Twelve. Mr. Garrison: OK, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. (Ace Goodman) [pause] Canadian Ambassador: OK I'm finished. (Ace Goodman) The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? Stan: Man, that kid is fucked up! (Ace Goodman) | |
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