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Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke! I even wrote it down in my diary - Veronica had a very funny joke today. I laughed about it later that night! (Ace Goodman) Veronica Corningstone: Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation. Ron Burgundy: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense. (Ace Goodman) Ron Burgundy: Big deal! I am very professional! Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby. Ron Burgundy: I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN! Veronica Corningstone: You are not a man. You are a big fat joke! Ron Burgundy: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science. (Ace Goodman) [kisses his biceps] Ron Burgundy: and see if she likes the goods. (Ace Goodman) Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] When everything's a little clearer in the light of day / And we know the night is always gonna be there anyway. Brian Fantana, Brick Tamland: [singing] Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite / Looking forward to a little afternoon delight / Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite / And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting. Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon delight. Ron Burgundy: You guys have it, I think. Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Afternoon delight. Champ Kind: I don't know Ron, That sounds kinda crazy. Brian Fantana: Sounds like you have mental problems, man. Brick Tamland: Yeah you got mental problems, man. Brian Fantana: Yeah, he really does. Brick Tamland: Man. Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Afternoon delight. (Ace Goodman) Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanesse family's living room, and they would NOT stop screaming! Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle. (Ace Goodman) Veronica Corningstone: You weren't here! Why are you being this way? Why can't you just be proud of me as a peer and my gentleman lover? Ron Burgundy: I can't believe you did this to me! You read my news! Veronica Corningstone: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that. Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. ?Veronica had a very funny joke today.? I laughed at it later that night! Veronica Corningstone: I can't believe that I cared for you! Ron Burgundy: Get out! Just go! We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you scorpion woman! Veronica Corningstone: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart. (Ace Goodman) Ron Burgundy: [clears throat] Well, I could be wrong, but I believe uh, diversity is an old wooden ship that was used during the civil war era. (Ace Goodman) Wes Mantooth: Well, well, well, Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team. Ron Burgundy: Hello, Wes Mantooth, Hello, Evening News team. Wes Mantooth: Nice clothes, gentlemen! I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale. Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys! Brick Tamland: Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store? Wes Mantooth: What are you doing on our stations turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beat down. Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again! Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! Ron Burgundy: Hey leave the mothers out of this. It's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset about finishing second in the ratings again. Wes Mantooth: That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have... uh... more than two television sets... and other things of that nature. Ron Burgundy: I guess I have to take you at your word, No.2. You have a great day, fellas, we'll see you around the bend. Wes Mantooth: Son of a bitch! (Ace Goodman) Brick Tamland: I don't know. (Ace Goodman) Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch! Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it? Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart! Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident? Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident! Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder. (Ace Goodman) | |
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