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  • Mimi: [to Oliver, about Igby] His conception was an act of animosity, why shouldn't his life be one as well? (Ace Goodman)
  • Hockey Player: My ball, cunt-face! (Ace Goodman)
  • Igby: You think you're what he wants? You think you fit the picture of how he wants his life to look? You think he would bring you back to our mother as a potential wife? Our mother? Sure she'd be nice to your face, but then the first opportunity, she'd pull him aside and warn him off. "Mongrel children have such a hard time fitting in dearest." He will lie to you. He will lie to you! He will use you up and marry some inbred Darien Frau who will beget him all the towheaded brats he can afford. They are rigid and they are cold! And you don't know! They are cold, cold, cold to the fucking bone! (Ace Goodman)
  • Igby: That tortures me. (Ace Goodman)
  • Igby: [to Sookie] Are those cloves? Outstanding! (Ace Goodman)
  • Mrs. Wilson: Not much of a crime to stab a dead man, is it? They can never touch him. That's what's important, his life.
    Mary Maceachran: And your life?
    Mrs. Wilson: Didn't you hear me? I'm the perfect servant; I have no life. (Ace Goodman)
  • Lady Sylvia McCordle: Where's that wretched Mabel.
    Constance, Countess of Trentham: Has anyone checked her outfit? She's probably in black velvet with a feather in her hair.
    Lavinia Meredith: She's in the morning room looking perfectly normal. Don't be such a snob aunt Constance.
    Constance, Countess of Trentham: Me? I haven't a snobish bone in my body. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Mary, I don't think I'll wear that shirt after all. The other one's warmer, that's all I care about. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Do you think he'll be as long as he usually is? (Ace Goodman)
  • Lady Sylvia McCordle: Mrs Wilson, a major crisis has arisen. I've just found out that Mr Weissman won't eat meat and I don't know what to do and I can't ask Mrs Croft. I simply don't dare.
    Mrs. Wilson: Oh, everything's under control your ladyship. Mr Weissman's valet informed us as soon as he arrived so we've prepared a special version of the soup, he can eat the fish and the hors d'oeuvres, there'll be a welsh rarebit for the game course, I'm not sure what we're going to do about the entree but we'll think of something.
    Lady Sylvia McCordle: Thank you Mrs Wilson. Ten steps ahead as always. Which one of you is Mr Weissman's valet?
    Henry Denton: I am, your Ladyship.
    Lady Sylvia McCordle: Are you indeed. Yes. Well. Thank you for your...
    [pause while she takes a good look at him]
    Lady Sylvia McCordle: efficiency.
    [leaves]
    George (First Footman): [to Denton] You're all set then. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Awfully long repertoire. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Seems much more than just background music. (Ace Goodman)
  • Barnes: Short arse. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Has anyone checked her outfit? She's probably in black velvet with a feather in her hair. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: They're rather a mixed bunch. That Mr. Weissman's very odd. Apparently, he produces motion pictures. The Charlie Chan Mysteries. Or does he direct them? I never know the difference. Mary! I suppose it's fun having a film star staying but there's always so little to talk about after the first flush of recognition. And why has Freddy Nesbitt brought that awful common little wife of his? Isabel only asked him because another gun dropped out; that's no excuse to inflict her on us all. Mary... Tomorrow, I'll have breakfast in bed, and then get straight up into the tweeds. What shirt have you brought?
    Mary Maceachran: The green with the pink stripe.
    Constance: Oh no dear, no. No, that's quite wrong. Always something very plain for country sports - the one I wore today will do.
    Mary Maceachran: But it's soiled.
    Constance: Well you can wash it, can't you? (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Tell me, how much longer are you going to go on making films?
    Ivor Novello: I suppose that rather depends on how much longer the public want to see me in them.
    Constance: It must be hard to know when it's time to throw in the towel... What a pity about that last one of yours... what was it called? "The Dodger"?
    Ivor Novello: The Lodger.
    Constance: The Lodger. It must be so disappointing when something just *flops* like that. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mary Maceachran: Nobody can stab a corpse and not know it.
    Robert Parks: Really? When was the last time you stabbed a corpse? (Ace Goodman)
  • [last lines]
    Constance: Could you imagine someone being hanged because of something I said.
    Mary Maceachran: I know. And what purpose could it possibly serve? (Ace Goodman)
  • [at the banquet dinner table]
    Sir William McCordle: And why shouldn't I be interested in films? You don't know what I'm interested in.
    Lady Sylvia McCordle: Well, I know you're interested in money and fiddling with your guns. But I admit it: when it comes to anything else, I'm stumped.
    Elsie (Head Housemaid): Now, that is not fair, Bill is...
    [Realizing that she spoke out of turn, Elsie quickly leaves the room] (Ace Goodman)
  • [Morris Weissman is asked about his upcoming movie project]
    Lady Sylvia McCordle: Mr Weissman.
    Morris Weissman: Yes?
    Lady Sylvia McCordle: Tell us about the film you're going to make.
    Morris Weissman: Oh, sure. It's called "Charlie Chan In London". It's a detective story.
    Mabel Nesbitt: Set in London?
    Morris Weissman: Well, not really. Most of it takes place at a shooting party in a country house. Sort of like this one, actually. Murder in the middle of the night, a lot of guests for the weekend, everyone's a suspect. You know, that sort of thing.
    Constance: How horrid. And who turns out to have done it?
    Morris Weissman: Oh, I couldn't tell you that. It would spoil it for you.
    Constance: Oh, but none of us will see it. (Ace Goodman)
  • Henry Denton: You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you?
    Elsie (Head Housemaid): We do if something's funny, sir. (Ace Goodman)
  • Constance: Tell me, what happened to William's little maid? I never saw her again after that dinner.
    Mary Maceachran: Elsie?
    Constance: Hmm.
    Mary Maceachran: She's gone.
    Constance: Aw, it's a pity, really. I thought it was a good idea to have someone in the house who is actually sorry he's dead. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mrs. Croft: He's very full of himself, I must say. Doesn't eat meat. He's coming to a shooting party and he doesn't eat meat.
    Mrs. Wilson: Now now Mrs Croft. We don't want to be thought unsophisticated do we? Mr Weissman's an American. They do things differently there. (Ace Goodman)
  • [On the phone, discussing casting for his movie]
    Morris Weissman: What about Claudette Colbert? She's British, isn't she? She sounds British. Is she, like, affected or is she British? (Ace Goodman)
  • Henry Denton: I have a date with a hot glass of milk. (Ace Goodman)
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  • If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears. (Isaac Hayes)

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  • “I would like to think I would rise to the occasion, but it's just interesting to me how powerful human beings can be when pushed to their limit and I really wanted to find it realistically that she could fight back, that she could take the skills she had learned just from being a hotel manager and turn them around and actually escape the situation.” (Rachel McAdams) [think/human/find/fight]