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  • Angry Biker: I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass!
    Ron Burgundy: If you want to throw down fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary ready for ya. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ed Harken: [on the phone with his son] Put down the gun, and let the marching band go! We'll play it off as a prank. (Ace Goodman)
  • Brick Tamland: I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded. (Ace Goodman)
  • Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
    [pause]
    Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
    Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
    Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
    Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
    Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp. (Ace Goodman)
  • Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
    Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
    Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
    Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
    Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
    Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
    Brian Fantana: Damn it! (Ace Goodman)
  • Spanish Anchor: Como estan, bitches? (Ace Goodman)
  • Bill Lawson: [narrating] Brick Tamland is married with 11 children and is one of the top political advisors to the Bush White House. (Ace Goodman)
  • Brick Tamland: [riding a bear] Hey, Ron! I'm riding a furry tractor! (Ace Goodman)
  • Wes Mantooth: I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale? (Ace Goodman)
  • Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego. (Ace Goodman)
  • Brick Tamland: Where'd you get those clothes from, the toilet store? (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: Son of a bee-sting! (Ace Goodman)
  • Ed Harken: [on the phone] I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: [while both characters are riding on horses through a cartoon Pleasure Town] I freakin' love you!
    Veronica Corningstone: I freakin' love you back! (Ace Goodman)
  • Baxter: Leave these people alone. They mean you no harm.
    Bear: We Bears are a proud race. They must pay for their intrusion.
    Baxter: On my journey I met one of your kind. His name was Katow-jo. We became friends.
    Bear: Katow-jo is my cousin. Go in peace.
    Baxter: I will tell tales of your compassion.
    Bear: Fare thee well, Baxter. You shall always be friend of the bears. (Ace Goodman)
  • Veronica Corningstone: Jazz flute is for little fairy boys. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: [picking up phone] Ron Burgundy. Stay classy, San Diego. Hello, Baxter? Baxter, is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the decency to say something! (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: [driving in car, speaking to Baxter] Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman. I'll take you to foggy London town 'cause you are my little gentleman. Wow, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: Do you guys really want to know what love is?
    Brick Tamland: More than anything in the world, Ron. (Ace Goodman)
  • Brian Fantana: Where is the suit store? We've been walking for forty-five minutes!
    Champ Kind: Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
    Brick Tamland: Fantastic!
    Ron Burgundy: Well, is it a shortcut or not?
    Brick Tamland: Okay! (Ace Goodman)
  • Brian Fantana: Well, is this a shortcut or what?
    Brick Tamland: [laughing] Okay. (Ace Goodman)
  • Veronica Corningstone: ...and that can be very distracting. Okay, so when we get to the pet shop...
    Brick Tamland: [while coughing] Cough. Look over here.
    [spoken]
    Brick Tamland: Excuse me, Veronica?
    Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
    Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
    Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
    Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
    Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
    Brick Tamland: That's it.
    Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
    Brick Tamland: No! Yes. He did.
    Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
    Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants?
    Ian: No, Brick.
    Brick Tamland: All right. Let's go.
    [runs off, there is a sound of crashing off screen]
    Brick Tamland: It's all right! I'm all right! (Ace Goodman)
  • Ron Burgundy: It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice. (Ace Goodman)
  • Bill Lawson: [narration] There was a time, a time before cable. When the local anchorman reigned supreme. When people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man then the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls. (Ace Goodman)
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  • If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears. (Isaac Hayes)

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  • “I would like to think I would rise to the occasion, but it's just interesting to me how powerful human beings can be when pushed to their limit and I really wanted to find it realistically that she could fight back, that she could take the skills she had learned just from being a hotel manager and turn them around and actually escape the situation.” (Rachel McAdams) [think/human/find/fight]