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  • Agent Sands: I want you to have a bite of my pork. (Ace Goodman)
  • [the Barillo Cartel has captured Sands]
    Agent Sands: I feel its only fair to warn you, that killing me is crossing the line and you will have every single Marine from here to Guantanamo Bay up your keester mister, so just know that.
    Barillo: Fortunately for you, nothing you did is worth dying for. You have only seen too much. We are going to make sure this does not happen again.
    [the Doctor picks up a drill and moves it toward Sand's eyes] (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: [pulls out a gun] Have you ever seen one of these? Have you ever used one? Don't ever because, they're very very bad. But right now I need you to aim it at the bad guy who's following us, and shoot him in the head.
    Chicle Boy: Matalo?
    Agent Sands: Oh yeah. Very matalo. (Ace Goodman)
  • Marquez: Carolina?
    El Mariachi: [in Spanish] She died.
    Marquez: [in Spanish] Your daughter?
    El Mariachi: [in Spanish] She died.
    Marquez: [in Spanish] You?
    El Mariachi: [in Spanish] Dead.
    Marquez: [in Spanish] And me?
    El Mariachi: [in Spanish] Alive and well.
    [Marquez draws a gun, El Mariachi draws and fires, and Marquez falls wounded. El Mariachi walks up and places his gun to Marquez's head]
    El Mariachi: [in Spanish] In hell.
    [Kills him] (Ace Goodman)
  • El Presidente: Who are you guys?
    El Mariachi: Sons of Mexico, sir. (Ace Goodman)
  • Sands: Oh yeah, things may get a wee bit dangerous there sugarbutt so... can you dig it? (Ace Goodman)
  • Ajedrez: [Sands burst through the door after picking the lock] You're gonna pay for that cop.
    Sands: Why doesn't my key work any more?
    Ajedrez: It's too small. (Ace Goodman)
  • Fideo: The man who wants nothing is invincible, cabron. (Ace Goodman)
  • El Mariachi: Go practice.
    Fideo: Practice playing or shooting?
    El Mariachi: What do you think?
    Fideo: I don't think, I drink. (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: Bullfights. Bull hockey. Do you like this? The bull is stabbed, prodded, beaten. The bull is wounded. The bull is tired before the matador ever steps into the ring. Now, is that victory? Of course it is. Wanna know the secret to winning? Creative sportsmanship. In other words, one has to rig the game. (Ace Goodman)
  • Sands: You're a good rat. I like you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: El, you really must try this because it's puerco pibil. It's a slow-roasted pork, nothing fancy. It just happens to be my favorite, and I order it with a tequila and lime in every dive I go to in this country. And honestly, that is the best it's ever been anywhere. In fact, it's too good. It's so good that when I'm finished, I'll pay my check, walk straight into the kitchen and shoot the cook. Because that's what I do. I restore the balance to this country. And that is what I would like from you right now. Help keep the balance by pulling the trigger. (Ace Goodman)
  • El Mariachi: Why me?
    Sands: Frankly, because you've got nothing to live for... and in a way you're already dead and Marquez is the one that killed you so why not return the favor? (Ace Goodman)
  • Sands: Belini... How long have you and I done business together? A long time. And in a way, I almost, could have the tiniest smidgen of respect for you. Almost. But you need to stop farting around. Now, do you have the information on Barillo or do you not?
    Belini: I have what you need. I'm just enjoying this temporary position of power. That make you nervous?
    Sands: You know that withholding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offence. Especially when that officer has paid handsomely for it and wouldn't think twice about ripping that patch off your eye hole and skull-fucking you to death. (Ace Goodman)
  • Chicle Boy: Are you going to be OK?
    Agent Sands: I don't know kid, I don't know.
    Chicle Boy: You will be. (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: You know that withholding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offense. Especially when that officer has paid handsomely for it and wouldn't think twice about ripping that patch off your eyehole and skull-fucking you to death. (Ace Goodman)
  • Sands: My name is Sheldon Jeffery Sands. I work for the Central Intelligence Agency. I throw shapes. I throw shapes, I set them up, I watch them fall. I'm living la vida loca. (Ace Goodman)
  • Billy: You want me to break his fingers?
    Barillo: No. I want you to chop them off.
    Billy: I was making a joke.
    Barillo: I wasn't. (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: This is no time to screw the pooch, because this is supposed to be the big dance number, all right? (Ace Goodman)
  • Belini: This story is well-traveled. It might have picked up some embellishments along the way. Just read between the lines. (Ace Goodman)
  • Sands: You're about a quart low. (Ace Goodman)
  • [El Mariachi takes a piece of pork from Sands' plate and chews it]
    Sands: Was I right?
    [El Mariachi spits out the piece of pork in disgust]
    Sands: Hmmm. Guess not. (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: [In Marlon Brando Voice] Failure to appear at meetings at designated times will result in forfeiture of protection... protection you will definitely need. (Ace Goodman)
  • Carolina: What's wrong?
    El Mariachi: [sees soldiers approaching] Everything. (Ace Goodman)
  • Agent Sands: Look me in the eyes... and then kill me. (Ace Goodman)
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  • If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears. (Isaac Hayes)

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  • “I would like to think I would rise to the occasion, but it's just interesting to me how powerful human beings can be when pushed to their limit and I really wanted to find it realistically that she could fight back, that she could take the skills she had learned just from being a hotel manager and turn them around and actually escape the situation.” (Rachel McAdams) [think/human/find/fight]