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Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, OK? Don't deny me this. Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday. Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none. (Ace Goodman) Quincy Burnett: Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night? Mike Lowrey: Whooo. Did I. Let me tell you, this girl was... Theresa Burnett: Hey hey. Don't you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories. Mike Lowrey: Aw, no. I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories. Marcus Burnett: Hey. Theresa Burnett: Well, I don't want him hearing either. Gives him ideas. Marcus Burnett: Why are you doing this to me, man? I'm with my babies. Okay? Thank you. (Ace Goodman) Detective Sanchez: Oh, so does that make you union? (Ace Goodman) | |
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Store Clerk: [pointing gun at Marcus] Shut up! Marcus Burnett: I mean, do you just attract violence? (Ace Goodman) Casper: Hello. Mike Lowrey: Yeah, can I speak to Romeo? Casper: No, there ain't no Romeo here, asshole. [Ferguson laughs] Casper: [to Ferguson] What the fuck are you laughing at? (Ace Goodman) Julie Mott: [to herself] "Hi Julie, what have you been up to the last couple of days?" Oh nothing, just hangin' out, handcuffed to steering wheels. (Ace Goodman) Julie Mott: [gives Ferguson the finger] Scratch this, okay? Ferguson: Yeah I'll scratch anything you want to you blue-eyed bitch. Julie Mott: Did you go to college? (Ace Goodman) Store Clerk: Badges? Do you want badges motherbitch? I give you badges! 99 cents each. [throws some badges at Mike] Store Clerk: I sell you some. (Ace Goodman) Mike Lowrey: Remember Club Hell? Marcus Burnett: Yeah. Mike Lowrey: Worse. (Ace Goodman) Marcus Burnett: That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous. [pauses] Marcus Burnett: I'm telling Mommy. (Ace Goodman) Reggie: Yes, sir. Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight. Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man? Reggie: No. Mike Lowery: You want to? (Ace Goodman) [Marcus starts ad-libbing the first verse] Mike Lowery: Dude, you gotta learn the words. Marcus Burnett: We usually only do the chorus. (Ace Goodman) Mike Lowery: What my partner means is that these are a special breed called umm... Marcus Burnett: Big motherfuckers. (Ace Goodman) Marcus Burnett: Look at my pupils? How the hell am I gonna look at my pupils? [tries to cross his eyes] (Ace Goodman) Floyd Poteet: I've got my rights. (Ace Goodman) | |
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