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Pieter Vorstedt: Warn them off. It's my experience that a scared cop is more useful than a dead one. Arjen Rudd: A warning... is that not a bit tame? Pieter Vorstedt: Depends how you do it. (Ace Goodman) Detective: How the hell do you do that man? Martin Riggs: Well, I dislocated my shoulder one time and I can do it whenever I want. Detective: God damn man, doesn't that hurt? Martin Riggs: Yes it does but not as much as when I put it back in! [Slams his shoulder into an office partition wall] (Ace Goodman) Dr. Stephanie Woods: My door is always open. Martin Riggs: Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc? Dr. Stephanie Woods: Why do you do this to yourself Riggs? Martin Riggs: Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Mickey McGee: Hey, Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with you guys? Martin Riggs: I'm sorry, that's very uncool. Mickey McGee: You're sorry! I nearly shit my shorts for Christ's sake! (Ace Goodman) George: But sir, I... Roger Murtaugh: George, I got a gun! George: Yes Sir! (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: Hey what's with you Rog? She was great, she was beautiful. Mickey McGee: Yeah, I liked it. She made me want to go out and buy rubbers right now! (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: Yeah, but it's an old gun and he's not a very good shot. (Ace Goodman) Riggs: In one ear, out the RUBBER... (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: Hey, did anyone ever tell you if you sit on the rocks too long, you get piles? Come on, lets get out of here. (Ace Goodman) Capt. Murphy: I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck." (Ace Goodman) Capt. Murphy: And Riggs. Martin Riggs: What? [Murphy throws Riggs a no smoking sign] Capt. Murphy: You know what that says? Martin Riggs: Yeah, the same thing as that. [Pointing to a no smoking sign on the door] Martin Riggs: But I don't give a fuck! (Ace Goodman) Leo Getz: How do I know it's the police? Martin Riggs: After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up! (Ace Goodman) Leo Getz: Oh I get it. [Points to Riggs then Murtaugh] Leo Getz: Bad cop, good cop. Roger Murtaugh: Shut up. Leo Getz: Oh okay, bad cop, bad cop. (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: Where were you man? You my partner or what? Why didn't you follow me down? Leo Getz: Yeah, why didn't you follow him down? Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! From seven floors up? (Ace Goodman) Roger Murtaugh: That's downtown L.A. How would you like to have a house up here? Martin Riggs: Well, it would be okay on the three days of the year when you can actually see it! (Ace Goodman) Leo Getz: Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is the best part okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius? Martin Riggs: You're a swindler! Roger Murtaugh: Cheat! Leo Getz: Everyone cheats a little bit... look at the Pentagon! (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: Freeze dickhead! Get down here dickhead. Come on, it's been a bad day! (Ace Goodman) Riggs: Whoa, you got me quakin' in my boots, but I'm still gonna bring you down. Rudd: My dear officer, you could not even give me a parking ticket! (Ace Goodman) Leo Getz: They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay? (Ace Goodman) Roger: Why didn't they plant the bomb in Trish's stove? Riggs: Yeah. Think of all the needless suffering that could've ended there! [both laugh] Roger: I'm gonna die on a toilet, aren't I? Riggs: Guys like you don't die on toilets. (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: On three, what do ya say? Roger Murtaugh: Okay. Martin Riggs: One... two... Roger Murtaugh: Wait, wait, wait! Martin Riggs: What? Roger Murtaugh: Do we do it on three? Or one, two, three, then do it? Martin Riggs: It's your ass, Cochise! Roger Murtaugh: My ass, yeah. On three. Martin Riggs: We go on three? Roger Murtaugh: Yeah. (Ace Goodman) Martin Riggs: Get off me man! I don't want anybody to see us like this! (Ace Goodman) | |
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